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perplexed on this return

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:53 pm
by rdance
don't understand why the screener returned my song with this comment:

"Richard, thanks for submitting No Red Flags. The song is not in the same vein as the referenced artists' songs that were used as examples in the listing."

here's the one i specifically wrote for the listing. just about everyone on peer to peer said it was dead on when i posted for feedback before submitting:

https://soundcloud.com/richard-dance-music/no-red-flags


and here's the tom petty ref from the listing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMSZALOGF_M

not upset really, just perplexed and want to get better.

thanks for any input you may have.

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:35 pm
by Casey H
Richard
I remember commenting on this before:
Casey H wrote:Hi Richard
You got that Petty vibe down nicely. The production and vocal are great! Cool track! :D

I agree with the comment that lyrics might not fit.

The other concern I have, comparing to Tom Petty's Mary Jane, is Tom Petty's song has a melodic, differentiating chorus. The Jayhawks song also has nice sections of melodic differentiation. The repetition without melodic change may make yours not really fit.

It could be one of those cases where a great track just doesn't fit the listing. **OR** it might be in the ballpark enough for a forward.

Good luck!!!
:D Casey
Your song also has more of a heavy blues rock flavor and the referenced artist songs are a bit lighter and more pop-flavored.

It looks like you got a solid track but it just wasn't a fit for THIS listing.

Best,
:D Casey

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 7:40 pm
by playagibson
I think you nailed and I don't think it's too heavy.
I think the screener just felt it wasn't right for what they had in mind.
Maybe they wanted a rougher,garage type vibe.
My forward on this listing is a lot less slick than your submission and it got through.

Rich.

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 8:16 pm
by rdance
casey, your grasp of what to me are still 'subtleties' in matching the listing are really good. i see what you are saying...lots of learning for me. i'm only in my second year with taxi, but i'll get there...

congrats rich! thanks for the feedback too.

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 6:02 am
by Casey H
playagibson wrote:I think you nailed and I don't think it's too heavy.
I think the screener just felt it wasn't right for what they had in mind.
Maybe they wanted a rougher,garage type vibe.
My forward on this listing is a lot less slick than your submission and it got through.

Rich.
Hey Playa
I agree these are all close calls. I checked out your track... Well done! What I noticed is it is more melodic, has a chorus and has the melodic guitar solos the listing referenced. So I don't think it's a matter of "slick". Yours really does capture what was asked for in the listing better.

Again, rdance's track is excellent, just less of a fit in THIS situation.

I know hindsight is wonderful and I'm writing this AFTER reading which got forwarded and which got returned. But remember, I did make those initial comments on rdance's track BEFORE the results were in.

Great work, both of you!

:D Casey

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:52 am
by admin
Hi Richard,

I rarely comment on members' songs publicly, but I know you, and know that you really want to learn, so I thought I'd add some feedback not related to the listing - not even sure which listing it's for ;-)

I think the lyrics as they are will hold you back on future pitches. Your strength is in your tracks, and this lyric isn't on par with the track. I'm not expert enough to advise you on how to fix them, but they don't read and sound as strongly as the track itself. It almost feels like one person wrote and performed the music, and somebody else did the lyrics -- but he's got some catching up to do on that end. The story is there, but the craft isn't quite up to snuff. Hope that helps!!

Warmest,
Michael

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:05 am
by Kolstad
Maybe it could have to do with the drum groove also? Yours is straight four on the floor, and Petty has an 8th note groove.
Drum grooves can be pretty defining for artists, like the 8th note groove is with Petty.

I think yours still has a Petty vibe, definitely in the gtrs and overall vibe, but maybe not so much in the drums, at least compared to "Mary's last dance"..

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:35 am
by rdance
thanks magne, good input on the instrumentation side of things!

thanks michael, appreciate your taking time out of your busy schedule to provide feedback! unfortunately, those two guys (the singer & the player) live in the same body. you are confirming a common response i get on a lot of my songs with vocals, i.e., my voice isn't as strong as the instrumentation, and only suited for certain styles.

this is very helpful! as i continue to focus on instrumentals, i need to start shopping for the right singer to collab with. probably quite a few here at taxi, will get on the collab. page. any paul rodger's out there?

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:38 pm
by playagibson
rdance wrote:thanks magne, good input on the instrumentation side of things!

thanks michael, appreciate your taking time out of your busy schedule to provide feedback! unfortunately, those two guys (the singer & the player) live in the same body. you are confirming a common response i get on a lot of my songs with vocals, i.e., my voice isn't as strong as the instrumentation, and only suited for certain styles.

this is very helpful! as i continue to focus on instrumentals, i need to start shopping for the right singer to collab with. probably quite a few here at taxi, will get on the collab. page. any paul rodger's out there?

Hey Richard,

Singing is my downfall in life, which is why I approached Bamtone. He can sing a phone book and keep your attention.
Eric from Eric makes music can sing his heart out. I get your style, you need that powerful,soulfull,bluesy style.
The gal who sings with Scott Free ... is incredible. I could go on....
Most members are excited at the opportunity to collaborate.
Just PM them, you have nothing to lose.

Rich.

Re: perplexed on this return

Posted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:13 pm
by rdance
rich, that is my plan...thanks for the encouragement!