Return w/ helpful critique for CONTEMPORARY POP/ROCK

[beesea]

I don't submit to a lot of these type of listings; I know the bar is really high. Thought I'd give this one a go, since the listing included a full critique. I submitted "Head In The Clouds" (it's on my taxi page) http://www.taxi.com/bobcrow

CONTEMPORARY POP/ROCK SONGS with Male Vocals are needed by a Multi, Multi, Multi-Platinum Record Producer for a couple of artists he's currently in the studio with. He's eagerly hunting for fresh, Mid-to-Up-Tempo Songs that would appeal to the fans of a RANGE of artists that would be heard on a playlist along with Coldplay, Keane, OneRepublic, etc., etc., etc. Please submit well-crafted songs that are highly memorable from start to finish, with attention-grabbing melodies, cool hooks in all sections, and fresh lyrics. Yep, he's looking for hits, and this guy is so busy that he needs a lot of them! Acoustic demos will work for this Producer, but your recording quality (even for stripped-down demos) needs to be clean, clear, well balanced, and good enough to represent your Song well. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics

Screener 221 had positives (melody, song structure, dynamics, musicianship), but wasn't sold on the lyrics or my vocal performance. Offered some helpful tips on what lyrics could be improved (verse 2 in particular). So although I'm slightly disappointed in the return, $5 very well spent - thanks for the detailed critique #221!