Do you agree with this return?

[Casey H]

This is the first time I've ever publicly posted unhappiness with a return. So to be fair, I'll post the listing, the full critique, and the song and ask you out there to tell me what you think. The screener said it was right on target, good broadcast quality, and other positive things but thought the hook needed some development.The song: "I Don't Need Nobody Else" at www.taxi.com/caseyhThe listing:ROOTS LEANING INDIE ROCK SONGS are sought by a Los Angeles-based music publisher who has signed dozens of TAXI songs/writers and has been successful in securing film and television placements. He is looking specifically for Indie Rock songs that can fit into the Alt Country and Americana format. Examples they give range from College radio acts such as Fleet Foxes, Ben Iver, Okkerville River and Blitzen Trapper to acts with proven track records like The Old 97's, Butch Walker, The Shins, Ryan Adams, The Jayhawks and Uncle Tupelo to Classic acts such as Gram Parsons, The Byrds and Buffalo Springfield. Performances must be excellent and recordings need to be Broadcast Quality - great home recordings should be just fine. He splits the license fee with you 50/50 and doesn't take any publishing - it's a non-exclusive deal. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Tuesday, April 21, 2009. TAXI #S090421IRThe critique: www.caseysongs.com/S090421IR_TAXI.doc I didn't post lyrics here because they weren't mentioned in the review, but I can upon request.So, what do you think? Be honest, fair, and objective. Casey

[hummingbird]

I need a translation of this comment: "Consider bringing in the riffs that occupy the space between the vocals more fully into the track to secure the role."

[ceedub]

The last line of the critique reads: "Song needs further development to bring the musical hook more fully into the track." That's the only criticism of the tune I see.I do think the guitar could come up a little in the mix during the hook, or the line could be doubled. I guess that's what "further development" means here. I know that for film/TV, those first few seconds (where the first occurrence of the hook is) are extremely important. I don't know that that would have killed the deal if I was the screener, but I am not the screener. I can't be sure I would have thought about it if it wasn't called to my attention in the critique.I like the tune.Cheers.

[ceedub]

May 5, 2009, 1:34pm, hummingbird wrote:I need a translation of this comment: "Consider bringing in the riffs that occupy the space between the vocals more fully into the track to secure the role."I think it means "turn them up".

[eokamura]

Hey Casey- I got a very similar critique for this listing. Vocals, vibe spot on but lack of a more defined musical hook kept them from being a "home run." I was also lacking an emmerdale. Huh? Oh well, onward we go right? Was that screener 216? eo.

[billg]

I guess giving everybody the same critique makes for a pretty easy day (except I guess I had an emmerdale!!!!) . . . here's mine, copied and pasted just as written . . . look at the last line, HA, HA! Wade and I co-wrote this and got a country album cut with it! I was waiting for the right time to spring that news (not wanting to jinx things) but I guess this is as good a time as any . . . Oh, here's the song and the critique (and my emmerdale) . . . http://www.billgaunce.com/song/3"Vocals and rhythm bring this track in with determination, William. The voice moves with an assurance that helps to expand on Th narrator's role. Consider adding a musical hook with the same presence to fulfill what is already in place. Bright chord patterns and assured vocals come into this track and make sure that they both offer their best form to the track, William. The arrangement could benefit form a musical hook with the same form and feel to come in and lend support for the other elements already in place.Song needs further development to bring in a musical hook."

[Casey H]

TAXI: This does look like something you might want to look into.Casey

[eokamura]

Does this sound familiar?"The vocals on these tracks land the songs right in the target area for the listing request, Ethan. The lyric content and rhythmic base of the arrangement keep things moving int he same direction. The lack of a musical hook is the only ingredient missing for a home run for a forward. Consider developing a simple, emmerdale and creative note progression that can come in and secure the role.""Right in line with submission request.""Sound recording is very well crafted and delivered and falls well within the broadcast quality criteria""Songs need further development to bring in a stronger use of musical hooks."Hey Bill, congrats on the album cut! Mind the emmerdale... eo.

[billg]

well, obviously they're different critiques altogether. Yours refers to you to Ethan and whereas mine is William ( if you go by Bill you learn early on that your in trouble when someone calls you William!). YOUR vocals and rhythms keep things moving in the same direction while MY vocals and rhythms move with assurance and determination (hopefully in the same direction). Also if you read the part about the stronger musical hook, your hooks are plural so you need more hooks than me. I only need one which is a major relief times being what they are.Ethan I wish that I could swap you my emmerdale for a musical hook but it looks like your gonna need all the hooks you can find, sorry buddy. here's what I found on emmerdale, which sheds no light on things at all.

[t4mh]

Maybe you both had better be for puttin' worms on your hooks AND your emmerdales! That is if you have enough of them in the first place... Keith