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I got my first critique and although it wasn't a forward I'm still excited. It's great to get real objective feedback from an industry veteran, and I must say I really could see where he was coming from. Looking forward to more!Patrick

Hey my friend, you have exactly the right attitude. There's a lot of really knowledgeable and generous people around here who will make you better. Take it all in and grow.Elser

Hey sorry for late reply, but thanks!

Hi Patrick,Elser is right on the money.There are a number of web sites out there where you can get complimented all day long but taxi is where you’ll get the truth from the industry itself. For example, I have five songs that I have not submitted yet. When I listen to these songs there are two that I always like whereas with the other three, I’ll like them one day but not the next. The two that I always like are the ones I will be submitting first when finishted. If these two come back with only a fair rating I’ll know that I still have a lot of work to do with my writing abilities. That’s why Elser’s statement, “Take it all and grow. “ is right on the money. I would also add to that… Never let your feelings get hurt when something comes back with a low rating. Use your first song as a gage and increase from that point forward.Jeff

Patrick,I worked with a producer from New York City who taught me a lot of very important stuff about arrangement. First he said, “The common audience has a very short attention span and this is why you should always try to get to the songs hook line within 50 seconds max and shorter if possible.” Now this is not an absolute rule but it is always the best to follow.Here is what I would do. Your intro has a great cord progression but I would cut its length in half. This will get you to your first verse in 14.5 seconds. You have a bridge that comes out of the first verse into the chorus. I would also cut this in half and word it so it doesn’t upset the story line of the song. This will cut another 12 seconds and get the listener to your hook chorus in 46.5 seconds. Always hook that listener fast, especially the TAXI critique person. As far as the rest of the song is concerned, I wouldn’t touch a thing. I love its layout.Now let’s get back to the intro. Your cord progression is very powerful, but the bright guitar that is play a melody is a distraction from the power cords and so I would take that out. Let me put it this way. When a person hears your song for the very first time, and you’ve hooked them within their short attention span, the very next time they hear that strong intro, subconsciously they know that this is one of the songs that they love and they’re ready to be hooked again.By the way, the way you took the song out on the end is also very strong. You not only have the listener pulled out of the lake you’re fishing in but you also have them in your fishing net. They’re not going to slip of the hook and get away.Jeff

Hey, Jeff.. thanks for the advice! That is a good rule that I sometimes forget to apply, especially when getting in the middle of writing. Regarding your advice on a specific song, which song of mine are you referring to? I'll have to give it a listen from the perspective you gave me. Thanks again!

I assumed that it was http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... ream=1Jeff

Hey Jeff,Ahhh, ok cool. Yeah, I thought that might be the one.Well, that's a good point about the intro being shorter. Man you really got this stuff down to a science huh? That time with your mentor must've paid off! I appreciate you taking the time to really listen and give this feedback.To expound on your point regarding the intro guitar lead. Are you saying that by taking it out that it will strengthen the chorus hook that much more? Or are you simply saying that a the power chords by themselves = less is more? Thanks!

May 20, 2008, 6:46pm, partyofone wrote:To expound on your point regarding the intro guitar lead. Are you saying that by taking it out that it will strengthen the chorus hook that much more? Or are you simply saying that a the power chords by themselves = less is more? Thanks!Actually Partyfone, after listening to it again, it does give it that Punk Rock sound. So now I’m thinking that you should leave it in but maybe try bringing a little more forward in the mix. I’d say it’s your call on this one because it’s your song and you’re conveying an emotion that you want.Jeff

Right on. I definitely have some tweaking to do here. I appreciate the insights!