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Hey guys,Just got this critique back for Listing # S080413PK which read as follows:"POWER POP/PUNK SONGS are sought after by the VP of A&R for an Independent record label looking for songs for a new band that plays but doesn't write their own material. They are looking to place an entire album's worth of solid material for this band's debut project. Uptempo, high energy songs are preferable, but all tempos will be considered. Please submit 2-3 songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received by Apr. 13, 2008. TAXI #S080413PKHere is the review as a whole:Title: Grandview Memorial Music 7 Lyrics 7 Marketability 7 Arrangement 6 Production 7 Engineering 7 Musicianship 7 Lead Vocal 7a stronger melody here but it is undermined in the chorus by that wild drum machine pattern you've got goin' there. i like the I-VI-IV-V chord changes, classic rock'n'roll changes which helps. a good lyric here, although it is also undermined a bit by the drum machine pattern. good performance. Status: Forward Return hey there patrick -- both songs here have their good points. both contain melodies that are good but are not being utilized as effectively as they. all the drum machine wildness of GRANDVIEW MEMORIAL seems unnecessarily and self-consciously fussy and arbitrary. i think the song would be stronger if the track was simplified. i would also make more use of those classic rock'n'roll changes that you seem to come up with. they are tried and true and i think could help you keep the songs more focused and effective. don't write the song into the arrangement, write the arrangement into the song. all in all, some real potential here. good luck and thanx for the submission. "My critique was generally favorable and I find the suggestions very helpful. However, I'd like to see if you guys can help to clarify feedback regarding the drum section in the chorus. He/she refers to as "wild drum pattern". My first thought is that I went overboard on the crashes trying to get a rawer, punk/emo feel. I generally thought the half-time feel was cool though. Do you guys think he means the crash cymbals specifically or just the chorus drums as a whole? Here is song link:http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=1Thanks in advance!

Now this is interesting...I know that opinions and views will vary from screener to screener, listing to listing... and here is my latest critique on the same song but for the radio friendly indie rock listing (another return but much more positive):Title: Grandview Memorial Music 9 Lyrics 9 Marketability 8 Arrangement 8 Production 9 Engineering 8 Musicianship 9 Lead Vocal 9This is a catchy song with several cool hooks, and great melodic and lyrical content, however the pre-chorus seems a bit drawn out, and takes a bit too long to get to the chorus. I love the melody in the chorus, but I'd love to hear a bit more of a visual description of the cemetery, instead of just repeating the name. There are also technical issues that are holding this song back.. The mix seems a bit over-compressed, taking the clarity out of the instruments.Overall CommentsThis song has got some great melodic and lyrical concepts, and with some slight refinement in arrangement and lyrics, could be a huge sounding single. A great solid mix, without over-compression, would also bring this track up to broadcast quality standards.I completely agree about the compression and that was rushed, sloppy engineering on my part. Just interesting to see the 2 different takes here though. And it seems this screener didn't take any issue with drums in the chorus.I'll def take both into consideration though!

It is a pretty cool tune. As for the drums, they are really stiff and unnatural in some of the rolls. Sounds like there were some parts that needed to be quantized to tuplets instead of straight 16ths. The part commented on wasn't overbusy really, but it would have required a 3 armed drummer. Both of the cymbals and the snare were being hit at the same moments. It is one of those things that will catch people's ear, even if they can't quite put their finger on it. Programming crashing cymbals is touchy if you don't have detailed velocity layered samples and really fine tune them so that they sound natural. Really, I think that is what the reviewer meant, thay just don't sound organic and real. Cool tune though! With a really good mix and some tweaking, it could be really great.Wodinlord

hi partyofonei really really like the chorusthe harmonies on 'em sound great~when you belt out 'grandview memorial~' at the endthe vocals seem a bit ducked and uneven...i think its a compression thing...try bumpin' em up a bit~im sold on this one, man!great!

Hey wodinlord and silvercord, thanks for the feedback guys!Yeah, ha, ha I hear ya on the 3 arms thing. I honestly didn't pay attention to that. On the velocity layers, that makes sense. I may need to upgrade to one of the newer drum packages out there.On the feel and quantization I actually used some human drummer played MIDI parts that I pieced together. I felt like the actual feel was pretty on (of course I'm not a drummer ), but do you think the lack of velocity layers may be the culprit here?ha, on that outro I was definitely getting up there in my range, but I hear what you mean about it. I'll see if I can tweak it some.thanks both of you for the positive and constructive feedback!

Also I agree about the rolls and fills... wasn't completely happy here either. I wonder again if limited/lack of velocity layers is handicapping me here.