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This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 12:05 pm
by arkjack
I was trying to give up posting to the message board for Lent..... Anyway, I recalled somewhere that Michael said if you're going to post a rant about a review, the fair thing is to also post your song ..... and the listing....This is the song....http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... ndsq=1This was the listing:Amazing CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY SONGS are needed by Dir. of A&R at Major Nashville label for a superstar duo a la BROOKS & DUNN. Powerful, emotional, visual lyrics are a must. They’ve asked us to be quite selective in what we forward. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD/cassette, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Jan. 25, 2007. TAXI # S070125COThese are the lyrics:Alabama Gonna Be My Homec Jon Ezickson 2007(This is a Stage II Demo)v1Well I spent some time in TennesseeSpent a litlle time in a Memphis jailI was getting tatooed at a place in New Orleans called Risin Sun on the BayouThat's where I met a black haired beutyShe said she haild from BirminhamNow were ridin her hog back to AlabamaI guess its gonna be my homechI'm ridin back twith a girl from AlabamaGonna marry me a Harley ridin mommaTell my friends in Tennessee I'm goneAlabama's gonna be my homev2Riding up through Clarkesdale she told meI needed a bike of my ownShe bought me a chopper and I felt like Easy RiderCruisin roads through fields of Mississippi cottonI'm gonna meet her momma and her familyThen we're gonna have a little ceremonyWe're gonna honeymoon down in Mussell ShaolsAlabama's gonna be my homechbridgeWe got cherry red flame chrome 1500 cc matching Harley RaodstersMatching leather jackets and the same bald eagle tatoov3We're gonna get a little house on the Gulf CoastI'll work at a plant makin gasolineTake a vacation at Daytona Beachwe're like a couple of pirates sailing down the highwayin pony-tails and leather jeansRayban shades and sleeveless teesI'm a lucky man in love with an Alabama queenand Alabama's gonna be my home.chand these were the review comments....Nicely delivered vocal on this track. Good harp work as well. Hope that's you blowin' ;-). Melodically, I'd like to have heard you reach for more unique melodies. Try and take new melodic paths you wouldn't normally take. You want to grab the listeners attention with fresh contemporary melodies. Lyrically, some good ideas. To me - your story is unique because you're riding on the back of HER hog. The story loses something to me when "she told me I needed a bike of my own" Even though she bought it for you. After that your story seems to lose some of it's adventure. "I'm gonna meet her momma and her family/then we're gonna have a little ceremony/we're gonna honeymoon down in Mussell Shaols" I believe that section can be made even more interesting. Hope this makes some sense. Good luckThe main reason you were or were not forwarded for this listing is:Not quite competitive enough for this super high bar listing.I appreciate you all and Taxi putting up with me. this is just a FWIW, and if you want to comment .......skooooo man ArkJack

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 12:19 pm
by johnnydean1
Quote:I was trying to give up posting to the message board for Lent..... Anyway, I recalled somewhere that Michael said if you're going to post a rant about a review, the fair thing is to also post your song ..... and the listing....This is the song....http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... ndsq=1This was the listing:Amazing CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY SONGS are needed by Dir. of A&R at Major Nashville label for a superstar duo a la BROOKS & DUNN. Powerful, emotional, visual lyrics are a must. They’ve asked us to be quite selective in what we forward. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD/cassette, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than Jan. 25, 2007. TAXI # S070125COThese are the lyrics:Alabama Gonna Be My Homec Jon Ezickson 2007(This is a Stage II Demo)v1Well I spent some time in TennesseeSpent a litlle time in a Memphis jailI was getting tatooed at a place in New Orleans called Risin Sun on the BayouThat's where I met a black haired beutyShe said she haild from BirminhamNow were ridin her hog back to AlabamaI guess its gonna be my homechI'm ridin back twith a girl from AlabamaGonna marry me a Harley ridin mommaTell my friends in Tennessee I'm goneAlabama's gonna be my homev2Riding up through Clarkesdale she told meI needed a bike of my ownShe bought me a chopper and I felt like Easy RiderCruisin roads through fields of Mississippi cottonI'm gonna meet her momma and her familyThen we're gonna have a little ceremonyWe're gonna honeymoon down in Mussell ShaolsAlabama's gonna be my homechbridgeWe got cherry red flame chrome 1500 cc matching Harley RaodstersMatching leather jackets and the same bald eagle tatoov3We're gonna get a little house on the Gulf CoastI'll work at a plant makin gasolineTake a vacation at Daytona Beachwe're like a couple of pirates sailing down the highwayin pony-tails and leather jeansRayban shades and sleeveless teesI'm a lucky man in love with an Alabama queenand Alabama's gonna be my home.chand these were the review comments....Nicely delivered vocal on this track. Good harp work as well. Hope that's you blowin' ;-). Melodically, I'd like to have heard you reach for more unique melodies. Try and take new melodic paths you wouldn't normally take. You want to grab the listeners attention with fresh contemporary melodies. Lyrically, some good ideas. To me - your story is unique because you're riding on the back of HER hog. The story loses something to me when "she told me I needed a bike of my own" Even though she bought it for you. After that your story seems to lose some of it's adventure. "I'm gonna meet her momma and her family/then we're gonna have a little ceremony/we're gonna honeymoon down in Mussell Shaols" I believe that section can be made even more interesting. Hope this makes some sense. Good luckThe main reason you were or were not forwarded for this listing is:Not quite competitive enough for this super high bar listing.I appreciate you all and Taxi putting up with me. this is just a FWIW, and if you want to comment .......skooooo man ArkJackNothing wrong with the song Jack but it's Trad not Contemporary.They want Pop in Country clothing.

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:26 pm
by hummingbird
I totally can see where the reviewer is coming from. He/she is saying: this is a good song, but it doesn't fit the needs of the high bar listing. Feels more like traditional country-rock than contemporary country. [I find it interesting that I can hear the reviewers' perspective when listening to someone else's work... wish I could be that objective about my own ]

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:32 am
by arkjack
Now it makes sense.... thank you..... Why do suppose Jimi deleted Jchitty's posts.????

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:32 am
by sgs4u
Quote:Now it makes sense.... thank you..... Why do suppose Jimi deleted Jchitty's posts.???? which ones?

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:53 am
by jchitty
Actually, folks, Jimi didn't delete my posts. I deleted my posts because I mentioned the city where I live, and upon thinking about it, I decided to not divulge that for now. I also deleted another post concerning this info on another thread.Sorry my hiccup, guys. btw, I liked your song, AJ.

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:03 pm
by jchitty
You know you're getting old when you leave words out of your posts.

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:12 pm
by arkjack
I kind of figured that jc... just noticed they were gone and thought it would be a hoot after all the other commotion in the other thread . Do worry, I won't tell anyone where you live.... So ...... here it is .... 5:00PM friday.... the next batch of critiques and rejects is due in the email any minute.... Sigh.

Re: This is the song I was talkin about....

Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:49 pm
by jchitty
TAXI is like a billing service....ever get a bill in mail for something you don't owe? You stay ticked off all weekend and fume until you can call the billing office on Monday morning. My intuition tells me that you're gonna get a foward, AJ...seriously. Y'all all have a good weekend....I'm signing off now.