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Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2023 12:05 pm
by jesseh
Hi,
I just got feedback from screener #452 that maybe I should use a different piano that blends better. Not sure I understand that. My intention of the post isn't really about the screener but I saw a similar post by tpwmusic about a similar comment from the same screener so maybe there is something there... I don't know.
tpwmusics post:
have-i-upset-screener-452-t150026.html
What I really want is not to roast a screener but to get better at making music. So here is the listing:
https://www.taxi.com/listings/D230308EZ
Here is my submission:
https://www.taxi.com/members/DDV6KfCbSl ... sunflowers
Here is the feedback:
https://www.taxi.com/my/submissions/20369583/critique
So piano tone an issue? I get what the screener says about the ending anticipation/resolve - good feedback. But I am curious about the comment on the tremolo guitar needing to blend more. First off, it is a mandolin, heh heh. But, to the point, is this section possibly too distracting for a sync piece - is it too attention getting to work for dialog - is that possibly what the screener was getting at?
I'm just getting started writing for listings so appreciate any feedback you might have on the piece beyond the screener comments.
Thanks!
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2023 12:43 pm
by funsongs
Although I am properly 'logged-in', the feedback critique link doesn't work for me. It leads back to the main TAXI website front page (maybe it's for MEMBERS ONLY?)
My 2 cents on the track (unsolicited as it may be) -
The composition SOUNDS LIKE a sorta of nice Waltzy-paced, piece (I like the piano tone)...
but the nylon guitar part is such that it sounds too digital and stiff - like a march - and not gentle & relaxed - to complement the nice melody.
As a mandolin-player, too - I'm aware that it can 'stick out' in a mix -
thus probably draws too much attention to be good for underscore, or under dialog.
Hope you get the answers you're looking for, to make the track work more smoothly appealing - ready to get the FORWARD.
HTH.
Cheers.
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2023 6:51 am
by cosmicdolphin
Without being able to read the Listing and Feedback as the links don't work I would say it all feels a bit too far forward/in-your-face/unnsublte. Try playing everything more gently and emotionally , set them back more into the soundscape so we don't feel like we have our ears right up against the instruments,
Mark
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2023 10:11 am
by jesseh
Thank you for the feedback telefunkin and cosmicdolphin. Thanks for the tip on copy/pasting feedback and listings, I will do that going forward. I hear what you are saying about the stiff guitar and things being too forward. I will re-work the piece. Your feedback is appreciated!
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2023 10:52 am
by superblonde
Is that a real mandolin, being acoustically recorded live? (in the first section)
here is the sound of a live mandolin:
https://youtu.be/uf80w_kn9G8
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:07 pm
by jesseh
superblonde wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 10:52 am
jesseh wrote: ↑Fri Mar 10, 2023 12:05 pm
Is that a real mandolin, being acoustically recorded live? (in the first section)
The mandolin comes in at about 1:10 and, yes, it is a live recording of a mandolin, albeit not as good a recording as the one you provided
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2023 3:00 pm
by superblonde
jesseh wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:07 pm
superblonde wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 10:52 am
jesseh wrote: ↑Fri Mar 10, 2023 12:05 pm
Is that a real mandolin, being acoustically recorded live? (in the first section)
The mandolin comes in at about 1:10 and, yes, it is a live recording of a mandolin, albeit not as good a recording as the one you provided
What is the instrument at the start along with the piano? VST acoustic guitar or live guitar? That's what I'm wondering. (It sounds like poo.) The mandolin in the middle sounds fine to me, good in fact; there is nothing wrong with it. The piano also sounds fine.
I would say it is an orchestration problem in the beginning section ("A", and when it repeats later). Two instruments should not share the same frequency space especially when playing independent lines. The solution is to change the register of one of the instruments, most likely this would be the piano register, but using that register on the guitar(?) is not doing itself any favors. It is the fault of Screener 452 for not saying this simply & directly. It would be good to read what the feedback literally was.
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2023 10:30 am
by jesseh
superblonde wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 3:00 pm
(It sounds like poo.)
LOL, this is the kind of unambiguous feedback I appreciate!
The instrument in question is a VST guitar.
superblonde wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 3:00 pm
I would say it is an orchestration problem in the beginning section ("A", and when it repeats later). Two instruments should not share the same frequency space especially when playing independent lines. The solution is to change the register of one of the instruments, most likely this would be the piano register, but using that register on the guitar(?) is not doing itself any favors. It is the fault of Screener 452 for not saying this simply & directly. It would be good to read what the feedback literally was.
Here is a link to the feedback
https://www.taxi.com/members/DDV6KfCbSl ... N5RGGbJ_MQ
Here is the listing:
SENTIMENTAL ACOUSTIC INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a great Music Library with lots of success in Film and TV placements for a variety of TV, Film, Promotional, and Advertising opportunities.
This Library is searching for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals in the general ballpark of the following examples:
"Kaelyn" by a sound for you
"Time Rolls On" by Michael Barrow & The Tourists
"Each Day" by oakwhisper
Although one of the references has vocals, please submit Instrumentals only for this request.
Quoting the Library: "We are looking for easy style acoustic – organic, reflective, sentimental stories featuring acoustic guitar, pianos, banjos, etc."
Send them well-composed Acoustic Instrumentals with an easy, soft, and sentimental vibe and feel that could help establish a relaxing and reflective tone. Simple motifs, laid-back rhythms, and compelling arrangements with plenty of forward motion, interest, layers, and dynamics in the general ballpark of the examples are all needed for this request. Organic, acoustic-based instrumentation (think acoustic guitar, piano, ukulele, banjo, organic drums/percussion, etc.) will suit your submissions best. Pease be sure your production and any virtual sounds or samples you use may choose to use are high-quality and realistic sounding.
So I started out focusing on the guitar, as I am primarily a guitar player, and the references were all guiter-centric. I understand what you are saying about two instruments not sharing the same frequency space - good feedback, thanks. I really love this melody (even if I say so myself) and I am thinking that the piece would be best served by removing the guitar completely and replacing it with piano accompaniment and seeing how that works.
Re: Screener #452 doesn't like pianos? OR mandolin too distracting for sync?
Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2023 1:08 pm
by superblonde
jesseh wrote: ↑Fri Apr 07, 2023 10:30 am
The instrument in question is a VST guitar.
So I started out focusing on the guitar, as I am primarily a guitar player, and the references were all guiter-centric. ..... I am thinking that the piece would be best served by removing the guitar completely and replacing it with piano accompaniment and seeing how that works.
Ok good to hear that it is a guitar VSTi. Thats what it sounded like, or alternatively a very bad (and unusable) live recording setup. I dont know if guitar VSTi are ever good for being in the forefront. Maybe for accompaniment (background rhythm, more buried) they are somewhat ok. It sounds like the strings are 100 years old and every note is palm muted; there's just no nice 'ring' to the tone. Otherwise the rest sounds nicely humanized.
Just nuke that guitar track and instead maybe play live (electric) bass guitar under the piano (section A, and throughout) and it could fix it nicely?
Maybe the screener imagined that changing the piano to a synth pad (lower register?) would open it up more. But still, there's the guitar VSTi tone problem.
I think the screener's comments are solid in general, except changing the piano is a poor suggestion I don't agree with. I wish screener feedback was more direct & specific overall.