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Moved
Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 4:03 pm
by kvnlnt
Re: Worst review ever
Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 4:26 pm
by rnrmachine
Hey bud,
You are obviously upset, maybe take a moment and meditate on God before doing more posts. It just makes you look bad even though you may have every right to be upset. Just try and be cordial about it. If you have a legit grievence and people agree that your lyrics are fine. Then you can take mature avenues to deal with this.
Rob
Re: Worst review ever
Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 6:10 pm
by Len911
I linked the wheat fields with what came before, you feed me when I'm hungry, which I thought was great. Wheat fields in summer are green, and amber in the fall. Pure as snow would be a metaphor for "God". The contrasting seasons? What happened to fall between summer and winter, when the wheat is actually amber waves of grain? I have four seasons where I am, and yes I would fail to understand the changes in seasons if it was missing one. As far as food metaphors in the changing of the seasons,I'd have to say snow icecream is the only one I can think of for winter, because I can't think of anything to harvest in the winter here.
I actually like the idea of feeding me when I'm hungry through the changing seasons, as a theme, but I think it needs a little more development. The fountain in the spring for drinking after the other seasons of eating might be refreshing. However I can understand how God is the author of the changing seasons, great theme,but then the "you feed me when I'm hungry" sends me in a different direction.
I wrote a song for and about me and a friend, it made perfect sense as a private conversation, but it failed miserably for others here on
peer review, as one person said, "it sounded like a cruise ship heading for the north pole",lol!
People don't have to understand everything,but they have to be able to follow the song, and that is your responsibility as a songwriter, not the people who listen to your song. I personally think everything about this song, your singing, the melody, production, etc. is great! But for it to be a spectacular, memorable song, it needs a little work on the lyrics, and not that much, and as much as you have mastered on the other details, I know it is well within your realm to do it.
Re: Worst review ever
Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 9:59 pm
by t4mh
Man, I've had WAY worse returns than this. Dust yourself off and say NEXT!
Good Luck!
Keith