Thank you Screener #221

[Kelil]

Thanks for my review custom on my song ''Anywhere But here'' you hit all the spots that I was paranoid about but you also surprised me that it was ready for submission and of broadcast quality. I wasnt expecting you to compare it to Mark E Smith and the Fall and now when I listen to The Fall ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpWVk3h2SA8 ) for the first time your spot on.

I hope to get this submitted to the right record company in the future. You failed however to answer my question on what type of listings I should submit it too. But I feel you focused on more important things that would help the song get forwarded and I know there must be only so many words you can type that gives the 20 bucks worth, so I'm very grateful for the time and energy you spent on the song.

Style

I would consider Anywhere But Here to be in a Singer Songwriter or Indie Rock type of style

Melody

The melodies have a unique flow. It feels to me like the chord progression starts to get a touch too repetitious. The verses tend to focus around the same central chord, with minimal variation. This works OK, but by the time you get to verse 3 it feels like it might be beneficial to add a little more variation. For example, you could incorporate a bridge at that point instead of going into another verse, for some added contrast.

Structure

The structure has a good balance. I like how you repeat the chorus at the end, though you could maybe get to the final "I'm afraid I have to go...." without as long of a musical break before it. As noted above, you could consider a bridge to create a bit more musical variation. You could even keep the same lyrics as verse 3- "feel a bit of madness..." but simply change up the chords at that point. I love the fresh rhyme of "madness/atlas."

Lyrics

You use some cool colorful imagery to paint pictures with the words. You did an excellent job of shifting to a broader and more universal concept as you arrive at the chorus, which works nicely to contrast the more detail-oriented verses. Since the song isn't a Country song I don't feel you need to wrap it up in a neat way that would be typical of that genre. Having the singer talk about possibly heading to Mexico is enough of a climax, in my opinion.

Title

Good simple title that aptly fits the theme of the lyric. The phrase gets hammered home in strong power positions during the chorus, where it is effectively highlighted.

Overall Comments

Stephen,
I've enjoyed having the chance to give Anywhere But Here a listen. What quickly stands out is the fact that you have your own original sound. I can hear your Dylan influence, but not in too obvious a way. I'm also reminded a bit of Mark E. Smith and The Fall, but again, not too closely- you really do have your own style.

Part of what gives you your own unique character is your vocal delivery. It occurred to me that you could potentially give your listener an even catchier hook to latch onto in the chorus. Personally, I like the melodic flow of that section, but it's not the kind of hook that screams "hit song". In that sense, I think Anywhere But Here is the kind of piece that might get some notice from a record company executive, but it's not what will likely be seen as extremely radio friendly or commercial. You could experiment with doing less of the sort of half spoken word delivery in the chorus to make it catchier (again, I like the way you sing it, but it's not the kind of hit song melody one is likely to find on the radio.)

It's hard to imagine the song as having lush Fleet Foxes type harmonies, but I'm a little curious as to how that would work. It could be worth a shot to at least compare it to how it sounds without. And I wouldn't worry about overdoing it (a band like Fleet Foxes consistently puts on those harmonies, and it's simply part of their sound.)

The structure holds up well as is, to my ears. The double chorus works effectively at the end, but as noted, you might experiment with going more quickly into the second chorus.
The lyrical concept is strong and has an element of universality. The continuity works nicely. The title/hook phrase aptly suits the theme and sums it up well.

The recording quality of the track is pretty strong, to my ears. I would consider it as broadcast quality. One factor that gives it a little more of a demo quality is the stripped down instrumentation. It feels to me like you could add another texture or two (or more) as the song progresses, which might give it a better build. So the recording quality is good, but the production might be fleshed out further, which could help make the track even more engaging and marketable.

Overall, this is cool creative work- I can hear how you've already achieved successes with your music!
I hope these comments are helpful, and I wish you the best in the new year!

Score: three 8's two sevens on marketablility and production and one 9/10 for structure.