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Hey guys,

This is my first forum post, and I'm really in need of your expert ears! I'm working on revising my tune "Happy People", which I wrote for listing U130207RK, which closed Thursday. Here's the request:

TOP MUSIC SUPERVISOR working on a FEATURE FILM needs MID-to-UPTEMPO ROCK/INDIE ROCK SONGS with MALE or FEMALE vocals for the END CREDITS of a FILM in the spirit of: "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M. http://bit.ly/9AjRBB "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" by The Beatles http://bit.ly/9FLKpI "Happy Together" by The Turtles http://bit.ly/cYYa9Q They're looking for CURRENT-sounding songs with a HAPPY, POSITIVE, FEEL-GOOD vibe. QUOTING THE SOURCE: "We want the audience to leave the theater feeling good and humming along to the last song that they've heard in this film. We love the feeling of The Beatles and The Turtles songs but we're looking for a much more contemporary sound like R.E.M.'s 'Shiny Happy People.'" Please only use the referenced Beatles and Turtles tracks as a stylistic guide to the feel-good tone and vibe that has been requested. It's essential that your tracks have a contemporary sound to be considered for this opportunity. Please keep your melodies and hooks simple and memorable. Universal and PG-rated lyrics are needed. Vocal performances must be be top-notch in the vein of the referenced artists. The fee for this license is approximately $10,000-$12,000 total. Forwards will be sent DIRECTLY to the MUSIC SUPERVISOR so YOU WILL KEEP 100% of the ultimate fee, and you will NOT give up ANY of your Master, Publishing and Writer's share! You must own or control 100% of the Master and Composition rights to submit for this listing. Original material only, no covers please. Broadcast Quality is needed (excellent home recordings are fine). Please submit one to three songs online. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS by a TAXI screener Hand-Picked by the Music Supervisor. ALL submissions must be received no later than Thursday, February 7, 2013, 5:30PM PST. TAXI #U130207RK

So what I'm trying to sus out is A.) Does my tune sound "Modern" vs. "Retro" and which Bridge version is stronger (v1 or v3 of song), or if it needs to be replaced.

I've posted both versions up on my Soundcloud page, and here's the set link:

https://soundcloud.com/andrewhand/sets/happy-people

I REALLY appreciate the feedback and excited to be finally jumping into the forums...so HELLO!!!

Hi Andrew, welcome to the peer to peer. While I can't really answer all of your questions, there are a few things that pop out to me, one of which is a big thing in songs for media - which is the idea of staying away from specifics about places, proper names, etc. So, "Lucy" and "Peter" may be a problem. The bridge sounds like a whole new song, and almost feels more appropriate for the listing. Your song is cool though, and feels modern enough. At the same time, the tonality feels minor to me, and I would go for a major key for a happy listing. That said, that bridge is awesome and in a major key, and has universal lyrics, so you could develop it AS THE SONG, for this or another listing (depending upon if it's been screened already). The tempo on that bridge also speeds up and that may be an issue if you submit the song in whole. Just my thoughts. You have a great voice, keep making great tracks. Good luck.

Hi Andre
Very catchy tune. Patty makes some great points. Whenever you are pitching for film/TV, you want to leave out specific people's names. I agree the bridge is out of place. I would go with the first version as a song and if you want, write another song around that bridge.

It sounds pretty retro to me. It's possible you have the spirit of the referenced tunes but the production may not be contemporary enough. That's not my best area of expertise, but my gut reaction. The drums sound stiff and mechanical to me which may be a show-stopper. This is an ultra high-bar listing. "Feature Film" and $10K-$12K license fee means only the cream of the crop will be considered. Don't let that discourage you from writing and submitting. It's great to use listings to motivate you to make the best music you can. Aim high. Someone who can create catchy hooks like this is VERY far along.

PS Love the Sgt. Pepper opening! Cool tune!
Casey

that's a cool tune.

my 2 cents if you are looking to rework it for this style of listing (specifically the happy :

the a la's all have major key choruses (I'll call the Turtles tune Major even though the second chord in the chorus is a minor chord - I think you the picture anyways). In your chorus playing 1 bar 3 Major, 1 bar B Major, 1 Bar A Maj, 1 Bar B Maj and repeat would be an easy changeup.

Casey had some good points about the instrumentation - and I think the drums could work if they were enveloped in a more lush instrumentation - I don't mean orchestral - but if you listen to the number of instruments and parts in Shiny Happy People that would give an indication of where you could go. adding other instrumental parts (and maybe BG vox) in the chorus would allow you to still keep the verses sparser while also keeping the bass in, which would help the pulse, and also not make the naked sound kick drum so audible.

what you do with it is also going to help define the retro or modern sound.

good luck!

Hey guys,

Sorry for the late reply!...have to update my forum settings to send me emails about replies! I REALLY appreciate you each taking the time to share your feedback.

Patty - thanks for reminding me about the names...somehow I totally didn't think about that (usually make sure never to have names in my songs). I think I took too many listens to The Beatles and had Desmond stuck in my head . I also really like the idea of taking the bridge and making it a new song! GREAT idea.

Casey - I appreciate your pointers man! The drums are Superior Drummer, which I guess by nature might always be stiff (Wish I played drums). Do you think it's possible to even compete at this high bar with midi drums??

Andy - Appreciate your advice regarding tonality and instrumentation. GREAT points! (I think that Turtle's verse got me stuck in a minor mood as I was listening to it). Funny how much listening to all the references and breaking them down leaves different parts of each sticking with you. I need to be a better filter of what seeps into me!

Again, I deeply appreciate each of you taking the time to share you insights and expertise with me. It's VERY helpful and I look forward to more forum chatting!


Best wishes,

Andrew