Bulletproof - what do you think?

[fronzarp]

Hi guys
Would love your thoughts on these lyrics for the latest song I've just released
And you can hear the song here
http://fronzarp.bandcamp.com/track/bulletproof

Thanks guys x

Bulletproof
Safe inside this bulletproof vest
Safe from harm, safe from death
So I'll walk out into enemy fire
Am I safe inside guilded cage
Safe from time, safe from rage
So I'll walk out and face the fire

I should've told you I wouldn't stop
Should've told you I'd never give up
Before you started walking

Am I safe behind this concrete wall
Safe and sound, safe from it all
So I'll try to build it higher

I should've told you I wouldn't stop
Should've told you I'd never give up
Before you started walking

And if I've learned anything from this life
I know that anything can happen
And I wish I was bulletproof

[BurtHK]

Great melody and powerful emotive delivery on vocals. I think the imagery is strong and works well as a metaphor - it is just that it stay metaphoric with no real reference to the singers 'real world' situation.

For bullet proof - we read 'hurt' proof/relationship hurt proof, am I right? I think the key is the middle line in each of your 3 verses - essentially the current run is just a refinement of the imagery, but it could be replaced with some literal narrative detail or emotional information?

Eg
Safe inside this bulletproof vest
Safe from all the memories you left
Still I can hear the enemy fire

In the Ch what is it that he wont stop or give up? If I don't understand it I can't relate.

There is some wonderful imagery of love as war going on - but what makes your 'love/war' story particular to you and new to the listener?

Love the lift in the outro, very strong melody - but perhaps on the last line sing the 'I was' on the same notes as 'I wish' - it might be a more interesting drop to the resolve on bullet proof.