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Jesus in my Life

Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:31 am
by CarlBell
I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

There is always a place for me
In the kingdom of His name
A simple life's journey
Following sal-va-tion's claim
Died upon the cross for me
On the hills of Calvary they say
I found a need to worship Him
And ask Him in my life

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

I know, someday, I will see
the face with all the fame
riding on the wings of joy
He carried, all my pain
heed the promise, He made to me
Just have faith, believe, and you will see
By the grace of God through the holy ghost
His love will never change

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Don't you want to know?
I been called to follow Him
I been called to go and follow
The name of Jesus Christ
I have chosen to go and follow Him

I just asked Jesus in my life
He represents
Everything that's right
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Called to go, called to go
There is no time or place
I want to be without

Copyright

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:30 am
by remoteoutofcontrol
Im not gud with lyrics but I thought this was good! Keep it up :) /Ken

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 4:59 am
by cardell
I liked it. :)

But the, "Like boxcars follow a train" metaphor didn't seem to work for me. Just one opinion. :)

Stuart

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 3:09 pm
by CarlBell
Thanks for the very kind feedback. I will upload 3 more very soon.

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 8:48 pm
by JannieM
Hi,
I also liked your song, but agree that the line "Like boxcars follow a train" might not work well with your theme. If you were thinking about a rhyming word, "claim" rhymes nicely with "name". Maybe replace the "train" lyric line with something like "following salvation's claim". If you like that line - feel free to use it or change it - no string attached.
Jan

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:20 pm
by CarlBell
Hello Jan,

Thank you very much for the input. If I use the line, which I probably will. YES, I want to add you as a co-writer and I hope we can work on other projects. GOD blessed you with a thought, and you passed it on to me. Hopefully, our message will help bring others to Christ. I do have a melody but do not have the connections to bring it together. The melodic line is off the hook. "Ain't" God alright?

Carl

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:49 am
by JannieM
"Ain't" God alright?

This can be the "Amen" corner!

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:02 am
by CarlBell
Thanks Jan,

I actually have a song entitled; "Ain't God Alright." I have a few country, love and children, songs... Picture the "Wiggles" asking the question, Can you swim, just like a mermaid, using their typical melodic style? I will try to contact them soon.

Re: Jesus in my Life

Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 8:48 pm
by JannieM
Hi Carl,
Here is another perspective (IMHO) about your song. It looks like the current version of song has 2 choruses and a bridge rather than some verses and chorus with a bridge. You might want to try writing a second verse that fits with the cadence of your first verse rather than duplicating 1st verse.
Jan