The Nay to EBAY Song..........or Chapter Eleven

[smam60]

The Nay to EBAY song…….......or Chapter Eleven

Let’s sing another
Another Nay to eBay song
So many things they once did right
But now they do wrong
I built my business up
EBAY took it away
Eight years of loyal service
Gone in just one day
Companies that lack a heart
Will always have a place with me
I wish for them the very best
In chapter eleven bankruptcy


There may come a time
When others will see
What a business does to a little guy
They may someday do to me
Companies that lack a heart
Will always have a place with me
I wish for them the very best
In chapter eleven bankruptcy


Even the biggest fish will die
If you take away their sea
Even corporations can't survive
Without little shrimp like me
Little shrimp like me
Little shrimp like me
EBAY I bet you thought
You'd heard the last of me
Companies that lack a heart
Will always have a place with me
I wish for them the very best
In chapter eleven bankruptcy

Lets sing another
Nay to EBAY song
So many things they once did right
But now they do wrong

[mikeShort]

I like this. I'm sure it rings true with eBay customers, which I've never done.

I think you can strengthen the last verse by not repeating the chorus. I'm not sure exactly how, but I'd like to see it wrap up with one or two lines after the "little shrimp like me," something like "that will bring you to your knees" and then be done. It's the punch line of the piece, and we've heard the chorus before. I think that ending with that aha moment could work really well.

There are some places where the beats don't work quite right. Try reading the lyric out loud and listening for the stresses and see if you can find them. One example:

But some people call them
The do it their way or else company

They don't have the same beat pattern as lines elsewhere in similar positions. This will make it hard to sing. It's worth polishing to make the song stronger.

Mike