this doesnt feel finished. any suggestions feedback?
Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2015 8:28 am
Hi. This just doesnt seem to fit and flow. The 2nd verse in particular doesnt feel like it belongs or helps. Any suggestions
Strong Likker
(One)
You preach devotion as a wasted, tasteless emotion,
Everything seems to bend to your command,
men drown reaching for the bottom of your ocean,
You speak a language I can comprehend.
Your dark and stormy taste they never forget
How come they stay then pray you'll fade away?
(Chorus)
You have more friends than a beach has sand,
Are you strong likker or they weak men.
Tell me what ya thinking i'll tell you what ya drinking,
(You're a good kisser but no fine-@$$ likker)
I am the drug, you are my shaky addict,
I'll drench you with the sweaty words I write,
you'll desire me morning, noon, and night.
(Two)
You leave 'em indosposed on the side of the road,
discarded like stale big-macs and broken toys,
I'm all man, say bye bye to ya little boys.
Looking for things you did not plan to find,
that dream you thought wouldn't come true,
I have the other shoe and I know what to do.
(Three)
This is not magic, you won't find no cure,
mystery man you can't understand,
the Warden dangling the key to your door .
This new, improved, mind altering taste,
I've become Sultan of your seductive space.
Capitulate and you gets to stay, Obey, or just go away.
(Chorus)
You have more friends than a beach has sand,
Are you strong likker or are they weak @$$ men.
Tell me what ya thinking i'll tell you what ya drinking,
(You're a good kisser but no fine-@$$ likker)
I am the drug, you are my shaky little addict,
Ill drench you with the sweaty words I write,
you'll desire me morning, noon, and every f¥€&ing night.
Strong Likker
(One)
You preach devotion as a wasted, tasteless emotion,
Everything seems to bend to your command,
men drown reaching for the bottom of your ocean,
You speak a language I can comprehend.
Your dark and stormy taste they never forget
How come they stay then pray you'll fade away?
(Chorus)
You have more friends than a beach has sand,
Are you strong likker or they weak men.
Tell me what ya thinking i'll tell you what ya drinking,
(You're a good kisser but no fine-@$$ likker)
I am the drug, you are my shaky addict,
I'll drench you with the sweaty words I write,
you'll desire me morning, noon, and night.
(Two)
You leave 'em indosposed on the side of the road,
discarded like stale big-macs and broken toys,
I'm all man, say bye bye to ya little boys.
Looking for things you did not plan to find,
that dream you thought wouldn't come true,
I have the other shoe and I know what to do.
(Three)
This is not magic, you won't find no cure,
mystery man you can't understand,
the Warden dangling the key to your door .
This new, improved, mind altering taste,
I've become Sultan of your seductive space.
Capitulate and you gets to stay, Obey, or just go away.
(Chorus)
You have more friends than a beach has sand,
Are you strong likker or are they weak @$$ men.
Tell me what ya thinking i'll tell you what ya drinking,
(You're a good kisser but no fine-@$$ likker)
I am the drug, you are my shaky little addict,
Ill drench you with the sweaty words I write,
you'll desire me morning, noon, and every f¥€&ing night.