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Hey guys,

I wrote this one not too long ago and I'm on the fence about whether or not it's any good, haha. Would love your input! The music, if it helps, is already written; it's an uptempo, fun, bouncy pop/rock tune (think "Centerfold" or "867-5309 (Jenny)"). But I'm wondering if the lyrics are fun/clever enough to match up to the quality of those songs. Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome, thanks!


Come My Way

Verse 1:
I see you calling with that look in your eyes
Your tilted head is saying Come up to me
But if I’m just one of those hesitant guys
It’s how I have to be

Verse 2:
I told myself I was officially through
The charms of romance were not worth the heartache
But rules are breaking and you’re turning into
A chance I’m willing to take
And now I

Chorus:
I feel a changing in my state of mind
I can’t explain it but I won’t be the same
I used to think it’d be a waste of time, caught up in
“He said, She said”, it’s such a crazy game
But it’s a game I wanna play
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

Verse 3:
I wondered when these thoughts would ever stop [band stops]
[picks back up] Seemed like a good idea to stay on the safe side
But I can pick up any hint you can drop
And make our worlds collide
‘Cause now I

Chorus:
I feel a changing in my state of mind
I can’t explain it but I won’t be the same
I used to think it’d be a waste of time, caught up in
“He said, She said”, it’s such a crazy game
But it’s a game I wanna play
So come my way

Bridge:
Now if all I’ve done is misread the signs
Then my first pitch will wind up in the dirt
So I’ll forget the old and tired lines
Maybe it won’t help me but it sure can’t hurt

Chorus:
I feel a changing in my state of mind
I can’t explain it but I won’t be the same
I used to think it’d be a waste of time, caught up in
“He said, She said”, it’s such a crazy game
But it’s a game I wanna play
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

Hey DWD,

I'd like to hear it with the music, but my quick impression is sometimes less is more. You've got some good stuff going on here, that I think could be made better by subtraction. First, cut out some of the little words so that you can hold some of the bigger ones longer. Next, cut some of the good but less critical lines, but especially the lines that distract the listener from the hook, which is "Come My Way" - a very cool idea.

(if it were my song) Here's what I might do with it (my explanations are below):

"Come My Way"

I see the look in your eyes
Your tilted head is
saying 'Come up to me'
I’m one of those hesitant guys
It’s how I have to be
But now I

I'm changing my mind
I'm reading your signs
I can’t explain why
but I'm willing to try
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

I told myself I was through
The charms of romance
were not worth the heartache
But you might be turning into
A chance I want to take
And now I

I'm changing my mind
I'm reading your signs
I can’t explain why
but I'm willing to try
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

I used to think love was a waste of time,
it’s such a crazy game
Now it’s a game I wanna play
And now I

I'm changing my mind
I'm reading your signs
I can’t explain why
but I'm willing to try
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

And now I
I'm changing my mind
I'm reading your signs
I can’t explain why
but I'm willing to try
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way


My rationale is below:

I see the look in your eyes (I get why you had "you calling with...", but the 'come up to me' in the next line makes it redundant.
Your tilted head is saying 'Come up to me'
I’m one of those hesitant guys (drop the 'But if' and "just" in favor of clear and direct)
It’s how I have to be

I told myself I was through (I cut 'officially' to match the line length in verse 1, plus it's too big a word...)
The charms of romance were not worth the heartache
But you might be turning into (Cut to match line length in verse 1. Plus 'rules are breaking' is too passive and not really necessary.)
A chance I want to take
And now I

Chorus:
I feel a changing in my state of mind (too complicated)
I can’t explain it but I won’t be the same (so what?)
I used to think it’d be a waste of time, (what would be a waste of time? dating? love? the pronoun is too generic)
caught up in “He said, She said”, (these lyrics doesn't work for me. You're talking about romance, not drama...)
it’s such a crazy game (there's that pronoun again...)
But it’s a game I wanna play (the game of love?)
So come my way (Great payoff line... but much of the rest of the chorus is too distracting)
Come my way
Come my way

Verse 3: This verse didn't really work for me... I think the first two verse say it all. I recommend VCVCBCC over VVCVCBC.)
I wondered when these thoughts would ever stop [band stops] (cool effect, but that's not a good enough reason to keep the lyric...)
[picks back up] Seemed like a good idea to stay on the safe side (why, if she's a chance you want to take?)
But I can pick up any hint you can drop (If you were that good at picking up hints you wouldn't be a hesitant guy...)
And make our worlds collide
‘Cause now I

Chorus: (Re-written)
I'm changing my mind (KISS - keep it simple and singable)
I'm reading your signs (I borrowed this idea from your bridge, with a twist - and cut the next couple of lines completely)
I can’t explain why
but I'm willing to try (I get why you "won’t be the same", but it doesn't lead to 'come my way'). It's an unnecessary rhyme)
So come my way
Come my way
Come my way

Bridge: I thought most of the middle of your chorus makes a better bridge than what you had. Your bridge really doesn't add anything useful. (It's also got the same ABAB rhyme scheme as the verses.) You're saying, basically, if I'm wrong about your cute little head tilt, you're gonna blow me off... but so what? No big deal? That's not gonna win her over... re-write it.
Now if all I’ve done is misread the signs
Then my first pitch will wind up in the dirt
So I’ll forget the old and tired lines
Maybe it won’t help me but it sure can’t hurt (what won't help? The old and tired lines? Or forgetting them?)


DWD, FWIW, this is just my humble opinion. I hope it helps. Good luck with it, whatever you decide!

Fun song concept, DWD! Thanks for the opportunity to practice my lyric writing skills!

Come My Way
(DooWahDiddy)

[VERSE 1:]
You tilt your head with that look in your eyes
Flash a come on smile as you walk on by
But you need to know I’m not that kinda guy
Gotta move slow with me

[VERSE 2:]
‘Cause I told myself I was through with love
The charms of romance and foolish stuff
But the signal you’re sendin’ is hard to ignore
Maybe it’s time I leave

[CHORUS:]
‘Cause I’m about to take a chance on you
I can’t explain it but I think I oughtta try
Love’s a crazy game and I don’t like to lose
You’ve got me playin’ breakin’ all the rules
So come my way yeah come my way
Come my way if you wanna play too

[VERSE 3]
I’m picking up a vibe and your droppin’ hints [band stops]
[picks back up] The band stopped playing and it’s gettin’ late
If I were smart I’d head straight for the door
You sure don’t make it easy

[BRIDGE:]
So if I’ve gone and misread the signs
I’m sorry if I think that your a flirt
That stare, your hair, your too short skirt
It doesn’t help but it sure doesn’t hurt

[CHORUS:]
‘Cause I’m about to take a chance on you
I can’t explain it but I think I oughtta try
Love’s a crazy game and I don’t like to lose
You’ve got me playin’ breakin’ all the rules
So come my way yeah come my way
Come my way if you wanna play too