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I try to follow the rules of songwriting but hear great hit songs that break the rules all the time.
I've tried to rewrite this first line of this lyric to no avail and want to know if you think it spoils the hook when used as I did.
thanks for any and all feedback...... KC

BURN

Some folks say never burn a bridge
But me, I disagree
Not only does it feel damn good
It's like free therapy
I say whip out the matches
Don't forget the gasoline
Set that mother ablaze and enjoy the flames
Till there's nothing but smoking debris

Some bridges need to BURN
That's a fact I finally learned
They'll feel the heat for miles around
When I BURN that baby down
This is the point of no return
Some bridges need to BURN

Things don't always end up bad
I've got great memories
Amazing times with real fine guys
But crazy seems to follow me
So if so right goes so wrong
Have an exit strategy
Cause you know what's about to hit the fan
And honey you better believe

(Repeat Chorus)

Don't pretend you want to be friends
When you're praying to never see 'em again
Make the break short 'n sweet then disappear
Just like smoke rising into the air

(Repeat Chorus)

Hey KC,

Rules were made to be broken... as long as you know what you're doing and have a good rationale, go for it. The true test is whether or not it works. On the other hand, I don't think you need to in this case.

I know you didn't ask for a full critique, but there's a whole lotta telling going on in your verses, and not enough showing. I suggest dropping the first four lines, starting in the middle of that verse, and making it more personal:

I've got a box of matches
A five gallon can of gasoline
When I set our past ablaze
I'll enjoy the flames
Till nothing remains but smoking debris

Some bridges need to BURN
Thanks to you, I finally learned
You'll feel the heat for miles around
When I BURN, BURN, BURN it (us?) down
We've reached the point of no return
Some bridges need to BURN


The rest of the second verse is more of the same - too much telling and not enough showing - but I really like the "crazy seems to follow me" line. I think if you start the second verse with that line, make it more visual and less abstract by SHOWING the craziness he brought to the relationship, it would be stronger...

Finally, the bridge comes across as preachy. You're telling the listener what to do when "so right goes so wrong". Instead, show us something about your exit strategy, or why now, or what you're going to do to keep it from happening again, or to give him the message it's over. You could do something like (and this isn't it):

The only torch I'm gonna carry for you
Is a flamethrower, baby,
If you ever come my way again
I'll light you up like crazy...

Kc, Please take my comments in the spirit of service to writing the best song you can write. Hope it helps.

Thanks for you advice and time Michael! I appreciate your point of view. Sometimes i get so wrapped up in writing they lyric I have a hard time being objective so input from other songwriters is always valuable. Thanks again! Karyn

Just about all of Nile Rogers' hits and TONS of Motown hits open with the hook/title/chorus.

Have at it!!

: )



-b

A few come to mind...

"Can't Buy Me Love"
"All The Single Ladies"
"I Shot The Sheriff"
"Any Way You Want It"
"I Feel Good"
"Money"
"My Name Is Luca"

Talk about a diverse song list...

thanks for your input Paulie and Burpo! KC

Nothing wrong with opening with the hook - best to get the hook in the listeners head/face asap. A lot of modern pop songs are opening with the chorus lately so I don't see why opening with the hook would be a problem.

I love the theme.

But it feels like the whole song is about your feelings. In the verses maybe give some detail of why you are feeling this way. Why don't you mind burning bridges. As it is now the song is a bit unbalanced with a lot of internal and no external.

Short answer “yes“. I once got a return for that one reason.
With "burn" as the carrying concept, you are also flirting with a cliche, so opening with that may even be a double dare..

So, in this case, I would maybe even never use it, or tuck it away in the bridge, in order to do something new..
In my book (and many publishers), you HAVE to do something new with every lyric, otherwise it wont have any merit..

thank you for your replies. I agree with both many of your thoughts and have put this on the back burner and am trying to focus on more unique ideas!
KC