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Hi guys, I'm writing a song at the moment - it's inspired by friends of mine who have a baby, born last year, that was sadly diagnosed as having Cystic Fibrosis shortly after birth. They are of course on an emotional rollercoaster, having to deal with such terrible news and at the same time experiencing such amazing feelings of joy at having their first baby.

I started with an idea for a song recently and just started singing out some of these lines, I've crafted them a little - but intend to work on them more before committing to tracking proper vocals. Do you think the meaning of these lyrics is too buried / subtle without me having provided this explanation?

Answers
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It pains me now to think
How long you hoped for something beautiful
You can’t sleep a wink
And now you’re holding a miracle

It wasn’t supposed to be like this
It wasn’t part of your plan
Now your hearts have melted
Yet you still can’t understand

You keep searching high and low for answers
But you don’t know how perfect you are for him
You glide the floor poised like perfect dancers
In a single moment you became his miracle

You’ll always find the time to comfort him
And marvel at his beating heart
If you could only change one thing
You’d change the hardest part

It wasn’t supposed to be like this
It wasn’t part of your plan
Now your hearts have melted
Yet you still can’t understand

You keep searching high and low for answers
But you don’t know how perfect you are for him
You glide the floor poised like perfect dancers
In a single moment you became his miracle


I would also like to remove the gender specific nature of the lyrics. I had thought about "But you don't know how perfect you are for this" But I think that detracts even more from the meaning of the song, and leads to a more confusing message/lyric.

I'd be really keen to get your opinion(s) on this and any aspects of the lyrics - please do feel free to suggest any edits, I would like to make the song as relatable to as many people as possible.

Thanks very much.

reading your lyrics left me with a big question mark, what is it about? YOU know what it's about, we don't. so you kind of have to fill in the blanks for us. another challenge with subjects like this is to avoid being too teardripping and sentimental.

If it's too hard to 'get' what the song is about, it probably won't work. If it's about the love of a new baby, make it clearer. However, for Film/TV, stay away from things TOO specific.

Congrats Casey!!
http://forums.taxi.com/topic136954.html

Sorry about the other post. I really should quit commenting on some things, lyrics especially, I seem to be a thread-killer and come across as trollish and not as much encouraging as I would prefer.

Just reading through the posts here, and I think something has been deleted ?

I'd happily comment/feedback on the obviously very emotional lyrics, but I'd first like to know what the intended purpose of the song is please. That way I can aim my ideas to a specific end

ie, is it for film/tv use ? Is it for your album or single release ? Is it a gift to your lovely friends ? Is it going to be used to pitch to other singers/artists ?

Look forward to hearing back,
Amanda

Hi Amanda

Thanks so much for your reply. I think the confusion around the post that you think might have been deleted is that it crosses over with another post that I submitted which asked for feedback on the musical direction of my song, as well as some general feedback on the lyrics. So there is some cross referencing going on, which might account for the 'gap'!

As the lyrics seemed to confuse people (something that I was keen to know), I felt it better to splinter the post and ask specifically about lyrics here instead where I might get some feedback from lyricists such as yourself.

As I've put in my original post, the lyrics are inspired by friends of mine who have a baby born with Cystic Fibrosis. As always I struggle with striking the right balance between being too overt regarding the topic and keeping things too vague, such that people end up confused about the song theme.

In terms of ultimate use, I was hoping the lyrics would have a universal theme and might be applicable for film or TV.

Any feedback you might be able to provide would be very gratefully received!