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Hi guys,

My question: is the following lyric universal? --I'm thinking of it as a Christmas/Holiday type of song. It's title is, "Celebrating Comfort and Warmth." --It's still just a rough draft. I'm just checking to see if I've already managed to add something too specific.

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Celebrating

Comfort and warmth

Life begins anew

with power still untold

Remember the past

to send guidance our way

Pray for forgivness

to give strength for today.

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Thanks guys. I appreciate it.

Best!

Wendy Landers
www.wendylanders.com

Thanks, Tom!

Best!

wendylanders wrote: ↑

Sat Jul 04, 2020 8:03 am

Pray for forgivness

Most modern Christmas songs are not faith based so that makes it somewhat less universal I guess.

Mark

Thanks, Mark.

Best,

Wendy

I've got another question, but I won't start a new thread for it since I'll have too many threads posted.--Not consistent, sorry.

Again, this is just a song start, but who knows if I'm too specific already!

It's a patriotic song, and I mention the flag. Does mentioning the flag make it not universal?

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Remember the warmth

and the pride of the flag

How protective you feel

when it flies in the wind

Our childhood songs

sung before starting our day

knowing that together

was where our future lay.

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I appreciate the masterclass in universal lyric writing.

Thanks!

Wendy Landers

cosmicdolphin wrote: ↑

Sat Jul 04, 2020 12:20 pm

wendylanders wrote: ↑

Sat Jul 04, 2020 8:03 am

Pray for forgivness

Most modern Christmas songs are not faith based so that makes it somewhat less universal I guess.

Mark

+1 yeah, I think this puts it into a christian domain also. Not universal.

Yes, second lyric not so universal because of the flag reference, imo. Seems you are spot on, so you can trust your own reservations.

Kolstad wrote: ↑

Sun Jul 05, 2020 5:20 am

Yes, second lyric not so universal because of the flag reference, imo. Seems you are spot on, so you can trust your own reservations.

Also it mentions it flying in the wind , so that's pretty specific right there.

Patriotic songs naturally lend themselves towards being non-universal as you want to include everything about your own country. Many nations have different values to each other too as well as signature musical tropes. For example even if it had universal lyrics a song produced by Americans probably wouldn't sound authentic to a British person and vice versa.

Mark

I appreciate everyone's analysis. I feel like I've imposed enough for now, though.

I'm really glad I asked, instead of just wondering, or rationalizing what the screener said.

This is a hard needle to thread, especially since it's the polar opposite of what my knee jerk reactions are. My instincts are to overcome doubt with a great deal of detail.

Thanks everyone!

Wendy Landers

CTWF wrote: ↑

Sun Jul 05, 2020 10:22 am

With Christmas, it is a religious holiday, and even if people are not Christians, they might still pray (and the rest won't care), no?

Tom

Not really , it was a Pagan Festival that was hijacked by religion