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Hi folks,

Could you please help me with the lyrics for this song?
Listing is a very generic open one:
https://www.taxi.com/industry#listing-S240513ST

DEMO song is this one:
https://www.taxi.com/members/WJQg0yIBTr ... ers---demo

Any feedback and ideas are welcome.
Thanks a lot.

Provisory lyrics:
Monsters

(Verse 1)
In the shadows deep, where the moonlight fades,
Where the whispers creep, and the gloom pervades,
(Chorus)
Creatures in the night, hiding out of sight,
Filling you with dread, Underneath your bed
There’s a monster.
(Verse 2)
In a world unseen, where the nightmares roam,
In the land of dreams, where the beasts own.
(Chorus)
Creatures in the night, lurking out of sight,
In the closets deep, where the secrets keep,
There’s a monster.

(Bridge)
In the dead of night, when the wind wail,
There's no light, as the moon is pale,
That's when they arise, looking so bizarre,
With their glowing eyes, you know they are...

MONSTERS!
MONSTERS!
MONSTERS!
Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outro
They are terrifying!
They make me kneel!
Are they in my mind?
Are they for real?

Hi!
Quick listen on laptop. I think the lyrics are great for this listing. (Attn: Alan Hall ) The word "pervades" bothered me as non-conversational but wouldn't make or break. If you can think of a better one that fits the rhyme, go for it.

The big issue is the melody. It doesn't vary, not much sectional contrast, etc. That's what needs to be addressed.

Submissions should have well-thought-out melodies, memorable choruses, dynamic rhythms, and solid arrangements.

As is now, it wouldn't get the forward.

Best,
Casey

gloom "invades" might work.

Thanks guys,

Really appreciated!
Yep, I think invades do the job also I'll try other alternatives for the chorus vocal melody.

Cheers!