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Lyric Lovers has gone pretty wild over these last couple of weeks, I can't keep up! Hopefully I'll get to read some more soon.Here's one I just finished writing. I need to know if you "get it" because if not it needs reeling in again quickly. I don't want to leave it too long before the next write because I'm trying to keep spirits high. Plus I quite like the hook Melody will no doubt be quirky as ever!Thank you for any thoughts.Writing All His Wrongs© Lindsey Ellen JolivetHe treats her like a princessHow could she wish for moreHe tells her she’s the sweetestYeah I heard that one beforeHe loves it when she sings himThat song about the guy The one that makes her happySo happy she could cryAnd when I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don’t belongWhat a crazy combination I’m just writing all his wrongsHe thinks that she don’t noticeThe other calls when he’s not thereHe thinks that she don’t know thisBut she knows off his affairSee someone left a playful messageThanking him for such a nightSo she sat down with her pencilBecause she’s so damn politeAnd when I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don’t belongWhat a crazy combination I’m just writing all his wrongsOf course he’ll never leave her Of course that it’s all trueOf course that she believes him Of course she wrote this song for youAnd when I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don’t belongWhat a crazy combination I’m just writing all his wrongs

Excellent hook!They read great too. Got my toe tapping just from reading. I get it. Nice way of telling the story. The of course section seemed a tad awkward but w/o music its hard to really feel how the words flow.Nice job Linzi!M~

Linz, what an excellent lyric. Stunning, simple, personal. I dig it. 2 thumbs up.

agreed with all of the above, couldn't have wrote it any better than that!

Hi Linzi, w/o music its hard to say, would 'at the keyboard' sing easier than 'to the piano'? I just stumbled a little there. Switching back and forth between first and third person is a little confusing. Maybe 'she' should be the one to write his wrongs.....Why would the singer have to 'fool myself into believing'? That line lost me.Otherwise, very, very cute idea! Hope to see your final w/music.Cheryl

Hi guys, thank you for the lovely comments.I'll keep "piano" because that's what I'm playing I agree about the angle I've written from, I kept switching it back and forth while I was writing - and then just went with it in the end! It could be confusing, but I was hoping though, that it might make it a little different Good feedback Cheryl, thank you, I'll keep working.Linzi

Love the title and story. I agree with the others, however. The first verse should probably be in the first person like the rest of song. Steve

I'm not entirely convinced I get it. He professes and shows his love to her, but he is also doing some "other" loving? He thinks he's in the clear, she knows all about it, she makes songs that he likes to hear, not knowing all the while the tunes are about his "failures" and infidelities? In Writing his wrongs, it is her way of keeping track?Whether I "get it" or am wrong, I like the song - emotive but catchy. I would feel compelled to subtract a couple words as unnecessary, but overall it's solid and I would like to hear it. I've been meaning to ask, Linzi, do you have any demos of your work posted anywhere that I could listen to? I tend to read stuff and have one tune in my head, then hear the work and it is completely different thatn I thought it would be.Phil

All good points Phil, thank you.You can hear one of my crazy songs under the name of "Memory Lane" just a few songs down from this one.OK guys, how do you feel about this version. It feels better to me (thanks to you)! So again, any thoughts appreciated. Here goes...Writing All His Wrongs© Lindsey Ellen JolivetHe treats me like a princessHow could I wish for moreHe tells me I’m the sweetestYeah I heard that one beforeHe loves it when I sing himThat song about the guy The one that makes me happySo happy I could cryWhen I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don’t belongThere's no way he'd ever leave meWriting all his wrongsHe thinks that I don’t noticeThe sickly smell of her perfumeHe thinks that I don’t know thisBut I know to some fine tuneSee she left a playful messageThanking him for Friday nightSo I took it to the drawing boardBecause I’m so damn politeWhen I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don’t belongThere’s no way he'd ever leave meWriting all his wrongsAnd they say I’m in denialThat I’ll wake up some dayBut there ain’t no way he’s leaving me With nothing left to playWhen I sit down to the pianoHe thinks I’m singing songsBut it’s only compensationI’m just writing all his wrongs(Writing all his wrongs)Fool myself into believingWith these words that don't belongThere's no way he'd ever leave meWriting all his wrongs

BRAVO!!!! applause! applause!much, much better and no confusion on the person - much stronger in first personway to go Linzi,Cheryl