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This is one from a couple of years back. It's come to mind again since my stepfather went into a convalescent home last month. I'm reworking it (seems like it's endless, doesn't it?) Not very commercial, I know, but everything's an exercise in learning.All critique and feedback welcome.Familiar Faces In Strange PlacesCopyright 2005, 2006 by James B. MitchellV1:He can't always place them, but knows who they areThey come every Sunday and sit by his bedLittle by little the sound of their voicesLights the connections gone dark in his headSometimes he confuses the generationsA grandson is called by his father's nameHe may not be sure who is standing before himBut the love in their eyes brings a smile just the sameChorus:Familiar faces in strange placesAnchors in oceans of memoriesTake him back to a time that made sense to his sensesAs he catches a glimpse of himselfin familiar faces.V2In a few precious moments like patches of clearingHe knows he's not thinking the way that he shouldBut most of the time the thoughts bob to the surfaceLike jettisoned baggage and splinters of woodFrom Sunday to Sunday it seems like foreverHe convinces himself that they'll never comeThen bright as a beam comes the sound of their voicesThe grey of his loneliness chased by the sun ofChorus:Familiar faces in strange placesAnchors in oceans of memoriesTake him back to a time that made sense to his sensesAs he catches a glimpse of himselfin familiar faces.Bridge:He grasps for the threads of a lifetimeLike a floundering man for a lifelineAnd inside I am shrinking in fear From the thought of myself in the same place one yearChorus:Familiar faces in strange placesAnchors in oceans of memoriesTake him back to a time that made sense to his sensesAs he catches a glimpse of himselfin familiar faces.

HiI think this is a beautiful lyric. And with so many Baby Boomers facing this issue, who know what will be commercial. Probably not a pop radio song, but there is more than that out there!ANyway, I particularly like V2 with a" few precious moments like patches of clearing" and the thoughts bobbing "to the surface like jettisoned baggage and splinters of wood." I was wondering if maybe you should switch V1 and V2?Other than that, constructively, I think there are a lot of extra little words that could easily come out by using more direct and active verbs. For example, "a grandson is called by his father's name" could be "he calls his grandson by his father's name" and "from Sunday to Sunday it seems like forever, he convinces himself that they won't come" could be "Sunday to Sunday seems like forever he is convinced that no one will come." (I think "they" implies that he knows who "they" are.) I think the chorus is haunting and sums up the the situation beautifully. Again, i would just try to simplify it as much as possible by getting rid of unnecessary little words. "Familiar faces in strange places, anchors in an ocean of memories, take him back to a time that made sense to his senses." I love that! Then, I think I'd just simplify the last line by getting rid of "AS he catches a glimple of himself" with "Catching a glimpse of himself in familiar faces" or something like that. It's a very powerful idea. I hope you don't mind such picky thoughts! I think it's so close that it's worth tightening it up just a bit. Really strong idea and lovely images. Cheers,Ellen

Thanks, Ellen! That's very helpful feedback. You have some great points there. I'll try for a re-write by tonight on it. I"ll try switching V1 and V2 to see how it reads, also.

Hi James,great song - great sentiment - dread the day it may come to that with my parentsI agree with Ellen on most everything and especially on the point of simplifying the chorus.I'd like to see the entire hook again:Familiar faces in strange placesAnchors in oceans of memoriesTake him back to a time that made sense as he seesFamiliar faces in strange placesIMHO This could be a very commercial song -I only read it once, but it seemed that some of the metaphors didn't stay within their respective area/thoughts - it's something author, Shelia Davis refers to as a 'malaphor' - changing metaphors mid-stream - they may be fine, but I'd look at those more closely to see if any of them need some attention - other than that, you've got a great start on a wonderful song heregood luck with itCheryl

Thanks, Cheryl. So you didn't have a problem with the second half of the bridge? I wondered if it drew attention away from the story. I wondered about putting it in third person ("They").Thanks for the feedback. I was going to do a re-write tonight, but then I realized that I have a rehearsal tonight so it will probably wait until tomorrow.I appreciate all the feedback and the specific suggestions. Good food for thought!James

Hi James,okay, now that you mention it - the singer is only an observer and shouldn't participate in the song - IMHO - lose the last two linesBridge:He grasps for the threads of a lifetimeLike a floundering man for a lifelinethat's one of those 'malaphors' - threads doesn't go with lifelineeither 'rope' instead of threads or finish the thread metaphor - "he grasps at the threads for a lifelinefrom the fabric of his lifetime"does that make sense?Cheryl

This is all too deep for me to offer thoughts but I just would like to say its really really good

These are good lyrics, James. There's no reason this couldn't be commercial, although I probably don't know what that is.All the same, I wouldn't over think this too much and beat it to death.The only nit I had was "oceans of memories" could be "an ocean of memories."More than one ocean confuses me. We're talking about only one "mind" here.That's about all I can think of that I don't like. And there's a hell of a lot that I do like about the song.I'd put it to a country progression and see where it goes.Don't beat it up too much or you'll end up sick of it.Wig

Hey James!Really great read... very touching stuff! Other than what Cheryl has mentioned (all very good comments), the only thing that stood out to me is the word "anchors".... I would probably say "anchored"... talking about the faces he knows being rooted in oceans of memories, not actually being the anchor itself. I know it's a little thing, but so much has been commented on already!HTH... and I think it could be a big sentimental hit as i think you've really struck upon the perfect metaphor for this subject.

this is very poignant, and while i really like the line about the singer fearing being in the man's shoes, i agree that the singer needs to remain neutral in this song, unless you completely tell the story another way. (i.e. "i was in a nursing home and saw this man, etc.")beautiful writing, though, although because of it's wordiness, seems like it might be tricky to place with a commercial melody. but do keep us posted!erin