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Posts a Country Lyric!
Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 3:25 pm
by mani
Okay. Now you've all stopped laughing at the notion.
Re: Posts a Country Lyric!
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:01 pm
by mani
Nothing to say for yourselves eh?
Re: Mani posts a Country Lyric!
Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:31 am
by bc
Mani,I think you're on to something here; but I wouldn't call it country just yet. I know you're talkin' rodeo at this point, but I wouldn't force that issue. There is a strong heartbreak/loss sentiment to be fleshed out. I don't usually join in on-line critique sessions -- much prefer to work one on one in the studio, or at least, over the phone. I've got a few minutes to let the fresh ground beans kick in before I start a lock out session today. So: disregarding the music, the first thing that hits me is that the second line of the first verse is more discriptive and would make a better first line. Something like this:Today I came home, to a message on the phone; your ring is on the mantelpieceAnd I feel/touch an empty space; where a heart should be.best,bc