first timer lyrics.....

[bing]

Door... copyrighted 2010

I have to get my head back in the game
If i dont get it back i am the one to blame
Im tired of living my life in shame
I cant do it any more
I want so much more
Before they slam the door

(chorus)
Door of my life
Life of my dreams
Please keep it open
For the time being

It seems as for every step i take
They take two back
Seems as though they want me to go back
Back to the old me
Thats not where i want to be
Dont slam the door

(chorus)

Not sure what im going to do
Seems every corner i turn i get screwed
I just need to keep my head up
Hoping not to mess up
And have the door slammed on my dreams

(chorus)

"thanks all for takeing the time to read please give some feedback"

David

[glender]

Hi Bing,

It would probably make a decent gangster rap tune, but you need to thicken it up a bit. When your rapping you need a lot of lyrics.

I actually think it's good to express your thoughts and get it out of your system. Once your past the dark part of your life you can explore some other possibilities.

All in all I think it's the start of a good rap song, keep working on it. Sorry I don't have any useful comments on the structure, I don't know anything about rap, but when I read your lyrics I immediately click over to "rap vibe" in my brain. You could pitch to a rap artist or TV/Movie when it's done, just see where it takes you.

gl

[KIRBIE]

OMG

i don't really have any advice but I can tell you one thing....I relate!!!!