Only Eyes For You

[cwolf]

Hi,
I am new here and search for a music composer to collaborate with. Write German and/or English lyrics and vice versa to melodies. Write nearly all genre but I prefer Blues, Pop, Country and Jazz.

Her is one of my lyrics, written for Radio market (3-4 minutes). If there is anybody interested in, send me a email.

Only Eyes For You
Copyright 2011 by Carlos Wolf

1. Verse
Pack your bags, if you want to,
I’ll be happy when you are gone.
Take your staff, please bail out,
I hope you will never return.
Don’t forget our pictures,
I’m tired, won’t view them again.
When you leave, shut the front door.
I’ll be lucky be here alone.

Chorus
What a lie! ‘Cause I have only eyes for you
Know my head is spinning all for you
Feel my heart it is crying for you, dear love
It’s awful true that I can’t live without you.


2. Verse
Don’t come back, when you’ve left me,
I don’t miss you, when you’re away.
Don’t send me your regards,
I’ll forget you fully this day.
Slip no notes under my door,
Wouldn’t read one, just throw them away.
Do not call, don’t seek me
I won’t be lonely very long.


Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Don’t leave me. Please stay.

[Kelil]

No the lyrics and rhymes and structure is all over the shop. It's cliched and lyrically it's like something the beatles might have started out with but it wont fly in the modern pop era.

Have a listen to Devendra banharts Lyrics and the Fleet foxes. their lyrics are deep.

If it's fast pop/rock you wanna write that is not as deep as the said bands/artists try and listening to Oasis/Noel Gallagher and Paul Weller from the Jam.

Better yet. seeing as you write lyrics but dont compose music. Read them instead. This way you get to read them OUT of the context of the music they are put in. Read how they structure it. Then listen to how it is structured and lyrically fits within the context of the melody line they have created.

Best of Luck.

[inga]

-suggest change to-

Pack your bags, if you want to,
-pack your bags if you want-

I’ll be happy when you are gone.
-i'll be happier when you're gone-

Take your staff, please bail out,
-staff ? do you mean "stuff " instead? -

I hope you will never return.
-hope you never return-

Don’t forget our pictures,
-yes take the photos-

I’m tired, won’t view them again.
- i wont be viewing them again-

When you leave, shut the front door.
-shut front door behind you-

I’ll be lucky be here alone.
- i'll be luckier now, without you -

[inga]

I’ll be happy when you are gone.
- i'll be happier you're gone -

[inga]

When you leave, shut the front door.
-shut door behind you-