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https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal/ ... remastered






I Hate Chip Gaines ©2025 Robert George


We were havin’ supper
Watchin’ Fixer Upper
In our old redneck doublewide
Chip n Joanna
Were in Loo-Zee-Anna
Workin’ on a mansion on the oceanside

My wife thought the bank’d give us a deal
And we could give this place some curb appeal

O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines

She said she’d been itchin’
To renovate our kitchen
And turn our bedroom into a boudoir
Our new Jacuzzi
Was gonna be a doozy
Till I cut the septic line with a power saw

Now our old bedroom
Smells worse’n her French perfume


O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines

We’ll be dead ‘fore we pay off the loan
On our forever home

O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines

I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines


I don’t mean t’ be rude
I’m just kiddin, dude…












No, seriously
I hate Chip Gaines

I love this! Is it set to music yet? Love to hear it!

Thanks, Mark, and no. I wish it was. With a decent demo, I think I could pitch it commercially.

it's got a country demo now.