TAXI.com

HundredaireI was wastin’ time watchin’ reruns of SeinfeldWatched a Star Trek marathon, till my brain was almost goneLike a Vulcan mindmeldThen I bought a twelve-packOf Milwaukee’s BestBut if I drank all that brew, I’d have turned as blueAs a Wal-Mart greeter’s vestSo I shuffled to the mailboxFound a gift from Uncle SamI was buried in debt, till my tax return checkMade me a wealthy manYeah, I’m a hundredaireA blue collar heroI opened up a checkThat had two zeroesCan’t believe how I much I got paidCancel Geico and MedicaideTo hell with insurance ratesI can pay off the loan on my doublewide homePut half a tank in my old BelaireCos Mister…I’m a hundred-aireWell, I called up my girlTook her out on the townTold her ‘bout my refund, we didn’t hafta order fromThe mouth of a clownI wasn’t pinching penniesTill I shaved off Lincoln’s beardWe raided Tony Roma’s, slipped into a buffet comaWhen we ate half a steerDidn’t sneak no Snicker’s barsInto Die Hard 6 that nightCos I had a twenty, for a small Good n PlentyAnd we split a SpriteYeah, I’m a hundred-aireA blue collar heroI got to cash a checkThat had two zeroesI’m-a-rollin’ in it nowI might put it on the DowRoll it over into a thouAnd then I can pay cash for Gramma’s gastric bypassBuy new duct tape for my EZ chairCos Buddy, I’m a hundred-aireDinner and a movie with five bucks to spareYeah, who wants to be a hundred-aire©2007 Robert George