I'm Already Drunk

[couchgrouch]

I'm Already DrunkOffice party...New Year's EveLawdy, if I couldn't leaveI wanted some Black Velvet, no chaserbut all my boss brought to drinkwas cocktails that looked as pinkas her Gilette lady's razorshe mixed me one with a grinwinked at me and then put inone of them little red umbrellasafter I knocked that thing backtwo janitors snuck in some Jackbut I hadda say "sorry fellasmy eyes are gettin' blurrymy tongue is tastin' furrycrank the karaoke so I can feel the funkhand me a mic...cos Lawd almightyI wanna sing in my tighty whitiesbut no more booze can't you see...I'm already drunk"she could be a battle-axebut my boss owned two cadillacsand she looked hot all of a suddenafter that all I recallis sippin' pink alchoholfrom what might've been a bellybuttonI rang in the brand new yearwith a ringin' in my earthat stuff hit like a two-ton pickupI saw her face through the fogshe poured some hair of the dogbut I said with a smile and a hiccup"my eyes are gettin' blurrymy tongue is tastin' furrycrank the karaoke so I can feel the funkhand me a mic...cos Lawd almightyI wanna sing in my tighty whitiesbut no more booze can't you see...I'm already drunkI'm already drunkI'm already drunk..."(c)2007 Robert George