TAXI.com

If I Was a Beer(Where Would I Be)Told my gal I'd clean our housebefore she got backbut I hit a discount liquor'sand bought a cold twelve-packhopped over the laundryon the hallway floordrank up and watched Tom Arnoldjoke about jocks and sportsfive hours laterdown to my last beerwhen I opened that fridgemy Coors had disappearedwell, I wanted that brewbut I needed a cluelike those detectives on TVI was falling down drunkbut like CSI...like MonkI couldn't let that can go freeI hadda take my timeget into that brewski's mindO if I was a beer where would I bewas I poured in the fishbowlwouldn't that be my luckis that why that goldfishis floating belly upam I in the bathroomby the Lysol on the tankbut the more I tried to thinkthe more I drew a blankcos that first elevensure knocked me sillythey treated my brain cellslike the IRS treated Williebut I wanted that brewand I needed a cluelike those detectives on TVthought like a psychic copheard that top go popI couldn't let that can go freeI hadda take my timeget into that brewski's mindO if I was a beer where would I bethen I began to understand if I was that canI'd be in the grateful handof someone who needed a smileso I forgot sports recalled my chorescaught my gal on the floor chugging my last Coorssitting on a laundry pileColumbo's got nuthin' on memister, I solved that mysteryI just hadda thinkI'd driven her to drinkso if I was a beer where would I be(c)2005 Robert George