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Would like Feedback on Rock song "Sink or Sin"

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:17 am
by dweltman12290
My name is Dave and I am a self taught lyricist. I decided to post 1 of my rock songs here to get some feedback. I write the lyrics and I have a friend that does the vocals and together we collaborate on the music.

Would love to get some feedback on this and would appreciate any constructive criticism as well.

https://soundcloud.com/david-weltman-98 ... ink-or-sin

Thanks,
Dave

https://soundcloud.com/david-weltman-982567192
https://www.facebook.com/DW12290
https://twitter.com/DavidWeltman7



Oh my God in heaven
I’ve been burning up like fire
Give me just a little more than I can take
That'll get me a little higher
Now I said my prayers tonight
I’ll be here waiting on the one
I feel the Holy Spirit running thru my veins
When she holds me like a loaded gun

Wildfire woman c’mon give me a shot
Cause we’re down to the final hour
I’m gonna give ya everything that I got
I’m just drawing from your power

Wontcha take a breath and breathe me in

So come on baby come with me
Let’s sink or sin together
Nothing matters more to me
Knowing you can do it better
Take me now, yeah take control
Gotta roll the dice, we’re never gonna grow old
Come on girl just come with me
We’ll sink or sin forever

She knows when she’s happy
And when I’m down to the wire
She’ll rip a page outta the book of life
Then she’ll throw it on the fire
I wanna take her to a place
Where there’s no one left to save
I’ll scream another ”Hail Mary full of grace”
Like a bullet from the grave


Wildfire woman c’mon give me a shot
Cause we’re down to the final hour
I’m gonna give ya everything that I got
I’m just drawing from your power

Wontcha take a breath and breathe me in

So come on baby come with me
Lets sink or sin together
Nothing matters more to me
Knowing you can do it better
Take me now yea take control
Gotta roll the dice, we’re never gonna grow old
Come on girl just come with me
We’ll sink or sin forever
Yea
Ooh Yea
Gonna roll the dice, yea
Alright
Alright
Wild Fire, Yea
Come on take me higher
Yea

So come on baby come with me
Lets sink or sin together
Nothing matters more to me
Knowing you can do it better
Take me now yea take control
Gotta roll the dice, before were gonna grow old
Come on girl just come with me
We’ll sink or sin forever
Don’t you know it
Sink or sin forever….