Ask Robin - I Miss Your Love Like Crazy NSAI Eval
Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:25 pm
Ok, Eryn Michel asked if I could post the NSAI review I got for this song, Before I do, I used the 'Ghost Song' technique (shortcut #34 in Robin Frederick's book, Shortcuts to HIT Songwriting', and picked a hit song (charted at #72) by a contemporary country/pop star. (See if you can figure out the song and the artist.)
Here's the link to the song, the lyrics, my questions for NSAI and the review:
https://soundcloud.com/mamichnya-1/i-mi ... like-crazy
I MISS YOUR LOVE LIKE CRAZY
Words and music by Michael A. Michnya
She’s so beautiful, it’s indisputable
She could be a super model
Bold as an Amazon, even my choosy mom
Says that I’m lucky to have her
She never nags, she gives me space
For fishin' trips and poker games
Watches football just to please me
I've got it good, she makes it easy
But I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
She is sensitive but never tentative
She does exactly the right thing
She can charm my boss, she's never at a loss
For words says what she wants to say
Martha Stewart refined tasteful
Princess Diana graceful
She's as nasty as I want her
But all I feel is comfortably number
But I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
She can’t see that I don’t feel
Any passion for her at all
You were narcotic, exotic, made my psychotic
I don’t know how I dropped the ball
Cause I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Always made me feel alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
© Michael A. Michnya, Amor Songs, ASCAP
The specific questions I asked NSAI to address (I didn't ask Robin these, but feel free to respond to them if you're so inclined):
I used a template for this song (based it on a current hit for structure, rhyme scheme, length, etc.) and changed the melody. My questions:
1. What are the strongest elements/lines?
2. How strong is the hook, and do the verse lyrics set it up effectively?
3. How well does the melody match the lyrics?
4. Is melody (especially the hook and chorus) fresh and interesting enough? (I'm especially concerned about the chorus melody; any specific suggestion would be welcome.)
5. Aside from the obvious need for a better singer/vocal performance, how does the overall production sound? What would you suggest to improve the mix? 6. What suggestions for instrumentation or arrangement would strengthen the song?
7. Does the style remind you of any specific artists?
8. Any other genre that this idea would work for? 9. What other changes would you suggest to make it a great song?
Reason I am getting this song evaluated:
I want this to be a commercial song.
The NSAI Review:
Hello, its Evaluator # 37446 and thank you for having NSAI and myself be a small part of your writing and career. Please understand that what I am about to lay out are merely suggestions to help improve your writing and make your song and your future songs as strong as they can possibly be to compete in todays competitive market. Lets get started!!
FORM/STRUCTURE: Id cut your intro in half. No need for a :20 intro. Otherwise you are in good shape with regards to overall structure. You might want to rethink the rhyme pattern in the verses. The way you have your verses put together, Line 4 needs to rhyme with Line 2. While MODEL and HAVE HER is a far stretch, SAY and THING don't rhyme at all. Id rethink those.
TITLE/HOOK: The title is average as far as titles go but its prominently displayed in the song which is nice to see.
LYRIC: The biggest problem here is point of view. The verses are talking ABOUT her while the CHORUS is talking TO her. That doesn't make sense. Makes it seem like your talking about two different girls. You cant sing ABOUT her and TO her at the same time. Either make it 3rd person all the way through OR 1st person all the way through. Lastly it feels like your writing two different songs altogether. The verses are right in the moment while the chorus says its over. If YOU MISS HER LOVE then the verses would have to be set in the past. SHE WAS so beautiful etc etc. Those are your biggest problems here.
MELODY/METER: What would make your melody stronger would be to change up the phrasing in the chorus. The phrasing is very similar to your verse phrasing. Try holding out some notes to really make your chorus stand out. Always make your chorus the star of the show!!
OVERALL THEME/IDEA: I think the idea needs further developing.
CLOSING COMMENTS: Now to address your comments. Our evaluation service evaluates the song based on the lyric and melody and overall vibe of the song. Thats what makes up a song. Production, instrumentation etc is not what we evaluate here nor do we make suggestions on pitches. I hope you find this helpful and I wish you the best with your writing.
So, the one thing I agree with is that my intro is too long. I did 8 bars; 4 would be sufficient. The NSAI reviewer and Robin both missed that the song IS about two different girls: the nice girl that the singer is with NOW, and the Lettie Dobesh type that the singer still loves but lost. Sigh.
Here's the link to the song, the lyrics, my questions for NSAI and the review:
https://soundcloud.com/mamichnya-1/i-mi ... like-crazy
I MISS YOUR LOVE LIKE CRAZY
Words and music by Michael A. Michnya
She’s so beautiful, it’s indisputable
She could be a super model
Bold as an Amazon, even my choosy mom
Says that I’m lucky to have her
She never nags, she gives me space
For fishin' trips and poker games
Watches football just to please me
I've got it good, she makes it easy
But I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
She is sensitive but never tentative
She does exactly the right thing
She can charm my boss, she's never at a loss
For words says what she wants to say
Martha Stewart refined tasteful
Princess Diana graceful
She's as nasty as I want her
But all I feel is comfortably number
But I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
She can’t see that I don’t feel
Any passion for her at all
You were narcotic, exotic, made my psychotic
I don’t know how I dropped the ball
Cause I miss fightin’ with you 'n' makin’ up
Lovin' you tender, hating your guts
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Never thought I would survive
Your emotional roller coaster ride
You made me come alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
Always made me feel alive
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
I guess I didn't get enough
I Miss Your Love like Crazy
© Michael A. Michnya, Amor Songs, ASCAP
The specific questions I asked NSAI to address (I didn't ask Robin these, but feel free to respond to them if you're so inclined):
I used a template for this song (based it on a current hit for structure, rhyme scheme, length, etc.) and changed the melody. My questions:
1. What are the strongest elements/lines?
2. How strong is the hook, and do the verse lyrics set it up effectively?
3. How well does the melody match the lyrics?
4. Is melody (especially the hook and chorus) fresh and interesting enough? (I'm especially concerned about the chorus melody; any specific suggestion would be welcome.)
5. Aside from the obvious need for a better singer/vocal performance, how does the overall production sound? What would you suggest to improve the mix? 6. What suggestions for instrumentation or arrangement would strengthen the song?
7. Does the style remind you of any specific artists?
8. Any other genre that this idea would work for? 9. What other changes would you suggest to make it a great song?
Reason I am getting this song evaluated:
I want this to be a commercial song.
The NSAI Review:
Hello, its Evaluator # 37446 and thank you for having NSAI and myself be a small part of your writing and career. Please understand that what I am about to lay out are merely suggestions to help improve your writing and make your song and your future songs as strong as they can possibly be to compete in todays competitive market. Lets get started!!
FORM/STRUCTURE: Id cut your intro in half. No need for a :20 intro. Otherwise you are in good shape with regards to overall structure. You might want to rethink the rhyme pattern in the verses. The way you have your verses put together, Line 4 needs to rhyme with Line 2. While MODEL and HAVE HER is a far stretch, SAY and THING don't rhyme at all. Id rethink those.
TITLE/HOOK: The title is average as far as titles go but its prominently displayed in the song which is nice to see.
LYRIC: The biggest problem here is point of view. The verses are talking ABOUT her while the CHORUS is talking TO her. That doesn't make sense. Makes it seem like your talking about two different girls. You cant sing ABOUT her and TO her at the same time. Either make it 3rd person all the way through OR 1st person all the way through. Lastly it feels like your writing two different songs altogether. The verses are right in the moment while the chorus says its over. If YOU MISS HER LOVE then the verses would have to be set in the past. SHE WAS so beautiful etc etc. Those are your biggest problems here.
MELODY/METER: What would make your melody stronger would be to change up the phrasing in the chorus. The phrasing is very similar to your verse phrasing. Try holding out some notes to really make your chorus stand out. Always make your chorus the star of the show!!
OVERALL THEME/IDEA: I think the idea needs further developing.
CLOSING COMMENTS: Now to address your comments. Our evaluation service evaluates the song based on the lyric and melody and overall vibe of the song. Thats what makes up a song. Production, instrumentation etc is not what we evaluate here nor do we make suggestions on pitches. I hope you find this helpful and I wish you the best with your writing.
So, the one thing I agree with is that my intro is too long. I did 8 bars; 4 would be sufficient. The NSAI reviewer and Robin both missed that the song IS about two different girls: the nice girl that the singer is with NOW, and the Lettie Dobesh type that the singer still loves but lost. Sigh.