What's missing in Abracadabra (acoustic)?

[howlindog]

Hi all,

I submitted the tune Abracadabra (acoustic version) http://www.taxi.com/projectone to a listing recently and unfortunately I didn't get to finish the mix (and possibly the recording) before the listing was due. I'm going back into the studio to hopefully finish it this weekend and I could use your help on what it needs. It's a pared down acoustic version of what I originally recorded (also on the Taxi site). Your comments are most welcome. Lyrics are below.

Thanks,
Don

Abracadabra

Abracadabra and what do I see
A floating ballet as leaves dance in the breeze
A sunflower smile as it looks to the sun
Magic’s alive in everything and everyone

When I was younger, I must have been three
Mom gave me some words I could use magically
Brief incantations like thank you and please
Abracadabra, it’s magic if you just believe

Magic lamps shine in starlight
Magic carpets fly the moon
Magic charms bring on the sunshine
Magic is living and breathing in you

Abracadabra
Abracadabra

The most powerful magic is hard to explain
To feel the magic of love you must give it away

Abracadabra, the mockingbirds sing
The daffodils bloom; it’s the magic of spring
But the best kind of magic if I had to choose
Is the wonderful, marvelous magic of you

Magic lamps shine in starlight
Magic carpets fly the moon
Magic charms bring on the sunshine
Magic is living and breathing in you
Abracadabra, the magic is you

Abracadabra
Abracadabra

[deantaylor]

Don,

I don't have a great ear for mixing, so maybe there are some fine points there that could be better. But listening on my earbuds, it sounds darn good to me.

The song is fun. The vocal is really good. Love the skat.

Really, I don't have any suggestions. Seems like you've got it or youre very close.

Dean

[Cruciform]

Hey Don,

I think it's really well done. I'm listening on my phones and everything sounds well-balanced. Many parts of it take me into a Disney place but other parts bring me back to a more quirky "down-to-earth girl in the big city" vibe. Not a criticism, just an observation of where it takes me. I could really see this being used in a movie.

Good luck with it.

[AlpacaRoom]

Don,

Sounds great to me! There are a couple places early on (:25 and :45, I think) where a guitar fill competes a little with the vocals, and they get just a touch lost, but other than that, this is really stellar. Can't think of anything to add that would improve it.


-Nick

[howlindog]

Dean, Rob, and Nick,

Thanks for listening and making comments. I do appreciate it.

Dean - This tune started out as a simple little tune, evolved into a jazz tune and is now making its way back. But when Kelly laid the skat track down I knew I was keeping it no matter what.

Rob - I originally wrote this for a Disney TV / film listing having to do with magic of about a year ago; I just didn't get it done in time. Since then it has evolved a little, thus the "girl in the big city vibe". Hopefully these things are cyclical and something like that listing will come around again.

Nick - I think you are right about the guitar fills. I'll look at what we can edit or substitute.

I'm also thinking about re-recording the guitar chords in the 1st two verses to get some chord inversions that better compliment the melody and maybe add some finger snaps as percussion in the beginning. Anymore thoughts?

Thanks again,
Don

[kenmassey]

Hey Don, I love this tune. Good job. The only thing I would suggest, besides changing the chords in the beginning verses, would be to add a bass line there to anchor the tonic. Just a thought! Great tune, Ken

[howlindog]

Thanks Ken - that's a good suggestion. I think what I'm going to try to do is have the guitar play the roots on 1 and 3 and the new chord inversions on 2 and 4 throughout the 1st verse. (Of course, I'm not a guitarist so I don't know how difficult that will be.) That will still leave us room to build the tune and add the bass in the 2nd verse where the feel shifts from two to four. Thanks for taking the time. I always appreciate your comments.

Don

[sedge]

Hey Don, what a free feel this has! Quality!

Sweet vocal, very sincere and playful. Love the drums too they really swing and hit with the vocal.

Proper good stuff Don!

[tordenspyd]

What a nice happy feeling to the song!
I heard no distractions.

I imagine this could sound good and in fashion with just ukulele.
Good songs can be dressed up many ways

[howlindog]

Sedge, Tordenspyd,

Hey guys, thanks for the comments. We went back and recorded the tambourine part to replace the Stylus samples, re-recorded some of the guitar parts, and added some fingersnaps. The new mix is on my Taxi page as simply "Abracadabra" (deleted the non-acoustic version) http://www.taxi.com/projectone if you'd like to hear it. Tor, I thought about doing this with a ukelele, but just didn't know any ukelele players.

Thanks again for taking the time to listen and respond.

Don