Where am I going wrong?

[macomposer]

Hey Gary,

Okay, everything seems to be working!!

Get Real v2
I like it! Love the vibe and vocals especially. The seems to be about 70% there..... Some impressions: Like someone mentioned earlier, yes, you need Get Real more in the chorus. You do it at the top of the chorus in that couplet. I was waiting to hear it at the top of the next couplet, but you didn't repeat it. That's a dead easy place to put it - the chorus is already catchy, and we want to hear that again...

In term of the track... there's a lot of syncopation going on all at once... the opening syncopated staccato organ riff is great, but then you follow it with a bassline that also quite busy and staccato-y, and your vocal has a lot of words in it, so it's staccato-y... so here you might need to consider a revamp/rewrite.. I think that's why you got the comment about the mix being better and needing more development.

Here's an idea, simplify your bassline and have it mostly follow the organ riff. It will still be staccato during the verse, but you'll have only two things going during the verse - vocals and all of the track against it… It might work, might not... But it will certainly clean it up a bit.

Take My Hand
I didn't listen as closely to this one partly because I am not that familiar with the current K-Pop market... But some thoughts: I think you might have some crops... the vocals again work for the style - they seem very well produced. But again, there are a lot of words there... and it was a little hard to make all of them out.

Are you going for a specific type of sound? They both sound just a little old-fashioned... I was getting Paula Abdul vibes with this one, like from the late 80s. If that is what you're going for, then great - you nailed it! If not, listen to the latest Ariana Grande and artists of that type. You may need just a bit more of a contemporary sound. Yeah - as the record goes on, the production has changed a bit, so I'm thinking that you're not trying to nail the late 80s/90s. So yeah, a bit more is needed to nail the contemporary sound. (But hey, what do I know? Perhaps K-Pop wants to sound a bit old-fashioned... and don't get me wrong, it's cool... It's just about what you're trying to achieve.)

Good stuff. Are you coming to the rally next week? If so, the Robin Frederick Masterclass should be on your attend list.

All the best,
Mark

[dloadu]

Thanks Mark. A lot to digest there. I'll go through it and see how it turns out.

Unfortunately i can't make the Road rally, too much going on here. Hopefully next year.

[cosmicdolphin]

I think the best way to learn is directly A/B them with your reference tracks - Do you have a plugin like Metric AB or similar ?

Listen to them and compare and note the differences, then it will be more obvious when the mixes aren't cutting it

mark

[dloadu]

Guys, I wanna thank you for such insighful comments! Very kind of you to offer such pearls. Talk about being too close to your work! Very excited and thankful to you all.

I've been in with my pruning shears on the bass and brass as suggested and already it sounds better! I have a first draft of a rewrite of the chorus (2 lines) that I prefer and which I think does indeed strengthen the track. It will take a while to get my vocalist to cut those two lines but once done I'll post back.

Anyone else have any comments I'm all ears. What a great forum!

I haven't even started looking at Take my Hand but most of my tracks do deliberately incorporate older elements. I'm not fully into EDM Bangers tbh...

[mteezykeys]

On both tracks I think the high drum and percussion stuff could be brought down in the mix a bit. They seem to be more upfront than the lead vocals alot of time.
For the RnB song I thought the bass was a bit buried in the mix.
Both good songs with strong vocal performances.

[dloadu]

Thanks mteezykeys

I’ll review the hats. I agree that modern RnB hats can be loud! I might lower them or dress or try chorus to see if that helps.

Also the bass might do with some transient shaping. It sounded ok on monitors but not so much on consumer speakers.

Thanks for your comment.

[dloadu]

updated first post with V3 of Get Real...looking forward to opinions!

[Paulie]

This stuff is in my wheelhouse, loving this track. Great groove, great vocals.

Some feedback: It is busy from the start. Vocals are buried, or the hat/topper is too bright and forward which distracts me from the vocal. (I say this as someone that has a hard time hearing in that frequency range to begin with).

Intro ideas: Keyboard groove and topper are fine, remove the kick in the 4th bar when you hold the keyboard chord, this will put the focus on the riff you play leading into the first verse.

First verse: Bring the energy down a bit so you have more room to build on it later. Remove the clap, then bring it back when you say “Let me tell you something” at 0:36. Or maybe instead of bringing the clap back in, come back with a snap or a rim/perc sound.

Pre-chorus: take the claps out to bring the intensity down for a second, this will make the chorus impact even better.

Chorus: You have that nice snare drum fill into the chorus, but then the snare goes away. Keep the snare on two and four in the chorus to keep the energy up. Maybe have the snare or kick hit the same rhythm as the horn parts. The horns sound cool, not real but full, reminds me a ton of a standard horn patch in a Baptist church band.

Experiment with removing the topper/hats at times… maybe out for the first four bars of a verse, then add them in the second half.

Bridge: Add a different percussion element in the bridge, bring the hats down. Maybe add a pad here as well to fill it up… it sounds kind of anti-climactic or empty to me.

Chorus: Yep… add the snare here again.

Add some more drum fills at the ends of the phrases in the back half of the song like at 2:52, 3:03, 3:15. Maybe a crash cymbal on the downbeats of the chorus section in the back half as well.

Great groove, great vocal, really like it, makes me want to blow some sax over it!

Paulie

[dloadu]

Thanks Paulie for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time do do this. There are some great ideas here on shaping the track. I will be ploughing through all of it! Maybe I can find a space for a sax solo...

[dloadu]

Revised version of Get Real posted. Hopefully it's ticking more boxes!

I got some new plugs I've been eyeing in the BF sales. I didn't need any more 1176s so I got stuff for unmasking, expansion and tonal balance. They're helping.

Plugs and mixes sound good until something better comes along. Then you wonder how what you had was any good