60s Throwback Pop song

[Mutrins]

Hey guys! I wanted to make a song with a 60s pop sound and would love any feedback on it

It's called You're Mine.

https://soundcloud.com/micky-shiloah/youre-mine

Lyrics:
You went and broke my heart
When I said
All of the things that I was feeling
All of the thoughts that i've been thinking
About you and me baby can't you see

I want a brand new start
And I meant every word that I was saying
Every wish that I was making
For you and me baby can't you see
Baby, can't you see?

Chorus:
You're mine, you're mine, you're mine
I've got you til the end of time
No use trying to fight
You're mine, you're mine you're mine

I'm gonna do my part
and I swear
We'll be as happy as we once were
Just say yes, I'll be your Mister
Just you and me baby can't you see

Because you broke my heart when I said
All of the things that I was feeling
All of those thoughts that I've been thinking
About you and me baby can't you see

We're meant to be as one
Till we're dead
No one will ever come between us
I will make sure they never hurt us
It's you and me
Baby, can't you see?
It's just you and me

Chorus repeats


Thank you all!!

[burpo]

Fun stuff!

Did you want merely song comments or production/arangement notes also?

There's a lot to say, depending on if you're just inspired by the decade or if
you're trying to nail a sound-alike.

Great start, Mickey!

-b

[Mutrins]

Thanks! and I'm open to all notes!

Not necessarily trying to nail the exact sound, but just more inspired by the decade.

[burpo]

I think this song would benefit from concrete visuals,
stuff the listener can "see."

I'd drag a comb through the lyrics and remove anything close to a cliche.
("You went and broke my heart... I want a brand new start." That sort of thing.

I know that oldies have that stuff in there, but that was then. They weren't necessarily
overused cliches at the time.

Cool start, man!

-b

[Mutrins]

Thank you for your in-depth feedback!

I see exactly what you mean. I intended to keep it sort of vague and slightly cliche as with a lot of the lyrics back then, but it's definitely something to think about.

Thank you again!