Alligator Review wanted!

[bigal555]

Hi everyone!Would sure appreciate your opinion on this funky little song called Alligator. Here's the link to it:http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplaye ... 1503&q=hiI had this song done a few years ago and it's been kind of gathering dust on my shelf, so I'm unsure whether it sounds outdated already or there's still enough "bite" in this ol' Alligator))) So now I'm thinking if it's worth doing any more production to it or just leave it there and forget about it...Anyway, any professional insight is welcome. Thanks in advance, and peace to all!

[nutunes]

HiI'm no professional music bod so please take these comments as a pinch of salt The tune does it for me - but:The Sax intro then the low tones suggest a sexy / taboo type of song - I like that But the lyrics dont seem to match the production. for me, it feels as if it's a love song gone wrong, the Alligator bit just doesn't seem to grab me. Yeop, correct syllables for the tune to flow but just the wrong lyrics.After listening to the song a good few times (based on the production) I would give the song a more "defined" theme:Lyric e.g.I got the time & I got the moneyI got the feeling that you know I'm lonelyI've waited so long & now you got me standing strongYou turn around 'cause you feel me tremblingA tiny smile & you got me babblingJust give me a chance & I will show you some romanceBridge - SameShe's the sexy instigatorThe girl you wanna pay to take the blues awayShe's the sex investigatorAnd now we're done I'll se ya latererr... if you follow This is just an input - take or leave as I'm not known for writing great lyrics.. but great tune all the sameKind regardsPhil

[bigal555]

Hey, Phil,thanks a lot for the input! I actually was impressed to have such a detailed critique (AND with a replacement lyrics suggestion all-in-one, too!) for this post. I do agree that the lyrics are a weak point in this song. Main reason for that would be that I'm not a native speaker (I'm actually from Russia), so when I did the lyrics, I mostly tried to make them sound at least sensible. Talking about yourself, would you be interested to try a collaborate as a lyricist, or maybe a co-producer on some other songs too? My big difficulty here in Russia is that most of material that I write is really not the russian ears (leave alone the local showbiz, huh), but I am sure that some of it can be marketable for the American audience. To make it short, I'm basically looking for a person who would be interested in co-writing (primarily lyrics, because the music bit is a lot easier for me))). Maybe you are the person I'm looking for? If you are interested, feel free to contact me at alexei_yarkin@mail.ru.once again, thank you for your "ear time" and your comments. Regards,Alexei

[Casey H]

Hey Gal Great track! I'm not an expert on production but it sounds fine to me. It has a very cool R&B vibe and a hooky theme. Regarding lyrics, IMHO this is one of those tracks that the listener is so into the vibe and the "alligator" thing, that the little nuances of a verse lyric here and there don't really matter. I wouldn't change a thing.All the best Casey

[bigal555]

Hey, Casey!thanks to you too! The funny bit is that you guys are the very first "english-hearing" listeners ever since this song was recorded. My main concern was always with the text part so it's a pleasure to hear that it doesn't sound "foreign" to native speakers (relief))).Do you think it could be pitched to some rnb artist out there in the US or UK?wish you luck,Alexei

[davewalton]

Quote:My main concern was always with the text part so it's a pleasure to hear that it doesn't sound "foreign" to native speakers (relief))).I never think about that stuff but slang local to a certain country can definitely get in the way of an otherwise good song. Some Australian friends of mine were asking me about a song that they had written titled "Jethro Was A Busker". I had to tell them that over here in the US, most people associate Jethro with Jethro Bodine from the Beverly Hillbillies (usually not what you want) and no one has ever heard of a "busker" (it's a street beggar as it turns out).

[jmshamblin]

Style__ On target for today's market in ________ genre x Not current sounding__ Hard to classifyStyle Comments:stylistically it's on target for early to mid 90'sR&B.Melody x Good music in verses__ Verses could be stronger x Good music in chorus__ Verses/Chorus sound too similar x Memorable Hook__ Hook not obvious enoughMelody Comments:I would change nothing melodically. I especially enjoyedyour Pre-Chorus.Structure x _ Intro too long x _ Well-written structure x _ Good sectional contrast__ Not enough sectional contrast__ Could use a bridgeStructure Comments:Intro could stand a visit to the cutting room floor.I would like it cut down to aroundsix measures or less.Lyric__ First line makes me want to hear morex_ Engagingx_ Cohesive__ Good use of imageryx_ Rhymes well__ Communicates emotion to listener__ Lacks focus__ Unique__ Too abstract__ I don't understand it__ Too predictable__ Too many cliches__ Awkward phrasing__ Vocal does not help to sell songx_ Vocal does help to sell songLyrical Comments:Great use of repetition in the Chorus!Titlex_ Good title__ So-So title__ Can't determine title by listening__ Could appear in a more strategic place__ Doesn't repeat enough__ Repeats too oftenTitle Comments:Consider changing title to "Lil Alligator"OVERALL COMMENTSGreat song. Excellent use of repetition.Outstanding Pre-Chorus. On target forearly to mid 90's material.Now give a rating 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best:_9_ Music_9_ Lyrics_4_ Marketability_9_ Arrangement_6_ Production_7_ EngineeringNOW. Would you walk this into a label credibility on this music?__ YES_x_ NONOW. Give a reason why did or didn't forward this:The only reason I would not forward it is ifthe listing would be looking for current soundingtracks. However, should they be looking for thetime period this sounds like it would get the olegreen stamp of approval!well i hope that helps you some. i wouldn't hang it out to dry and forget about it. it's a good tune just not current. perhaps at somepoint someone will be looking for that style again. catch u on the flip side. later bro

[bigal555]

Hey there, Matt,thanks for taking the time and doing such a thorough "anatomy". I appreciate that.You are not a Taxi screener (or maybe a 'used-to-be' Taxi screener) are you? )))

[jmshamblin]

No i'm not a TAXI screener. However, during my time @ Berklee i had to do lots of these types of dissections, more than i can count. hope it helps u. keep up the good work!catch u on the flip side

[nutunes]

Hi AlexeiSure, if you any input just lmk - email sent from my msn a/cKind regardsPhil