I got another return today for 2 songs that I submitted to a listing where a Gospel song consultant was open to pitching songs to artists/bands. Anyways, most of the reasons were for the same things. Although I was 'On Target' for the listing this time. I guess I need to do less repetition of the hook and try to be more on the subject of the song. I re-wrote "Jesus Be Revealed In Me" which I put in the Peer To Peer section and that song needs to be re-recorded by someone with the same melody but needs to be more 'current sounding.' I'm going to change the chorus a little bit, add a third verse and cut out the 'Jesus heals' repetition thats almost 1.5 minutes for "Jesus Heals Every Pain." Would someone be able to re-record the song but keep the same melody? Do you all agree with screener #225? I'm disappointed with the 2 returns but I'm positive that this experience will only help me get better with my lyric writing.

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