Another Pop/Punk dispatch return

[teleblaster]

Listing:
PUNK ROCK/POWER-POP SONGS and INSTRUMENTALS a la Green Day, Blink-182, Sum 41, Bowling for Soup, etc., needed by the Music Supervisor of an established Production Company that is a major player specializing in the Extreme Sports Film industry. They prefer instrumentals here, but they will accept songs as well.

Track:
I submitted 'GreenSum' off my TAXI page www.taxi.com/teleblaster

I can't seem to buy a rock forward; I'm like 0 fer 10 in that genre. Maybe I'm too old to really rawk? I will crack the code eventually. That's where you all can help me. My return, like Barry's, only had the music box checked. Does anyone know what that means? One quick sentence fragment sure would be helpful in these mini reviews -- 'bass too loud', 'chorus not strong', 'drums sound MIDI', 'guitar not tuned', etc...

I'm looking for any and all input on this track. What can/should I do to make it go forward?

Thanks
Erich

[kvnlnt]

hmmmmmmmmmmm.....I'm somewhat stumped. I think the song DOES fit that listing quite well...and it is well produced. But, something about it doesn't sound "authentic"...the guitar tone and bass tone seemed a little *fake/cheesy* to me...IMO they need to feel "bigger" in the mix or at least more aggression and grit to fully qualify as "PUNK" or "POWER POP"...it's too pretty....but like I said, it's a good piece and does fit the listing. I'd try dirty'n things up...just my two cents...

[kvnlnt]

Hey teleblaster, btw, I went to your ReverbNation profile...says you live in Everett...I live in Mukilteo! hah! Nice to see a local on here. -K

[japaneseprincess]

hey Man, i was replying to you after you posted ur comment on my thread in forward section, i will copy and paste little bit here.

are you asking for brutal honesty? if not, please dont read this one ! cos i may hurt you.


good energy there for sure. but i noticed some noise issues you can get rid of them by fades or gating, and gain reduction for fret noise. twin guitars (left and right) is better to be played like they are really twins. if the rhythm varies it doesnt make the rhythm and chords so strong.

Did you actually listen to any paticular songs by the referenced bands? comparing to your track, i dont really hear some chord progressions from these bands. make it extra simple, cos thats what punk is all about. 3-4 distorted anthemic power chords in the B section and simple Palm muting in A section, simple ABAB to start with, thats what i did for this listing !!

i had no time to think, i had to rush to work and i came home very late night (2am, in the morning). Green 182 type songs sounds very phat, gotta make it real phat when tweaking the rhythm guitars. well, im only new to this world of punk submissions really, ive been submitting to something else which i wasnt even good at (electro etc..).

its only like a month ago, i decided to do rock stuff. cos ive played in punk/alt rock bands for years. im on the right track, i have to thank Matto for his patience to give me feedback as well. he is a legend. im growing up a lot because of his kind support.

i was little confused if it was A or B section, in some places. well i only played the track 3-4 times, so i cant tell much. some places were quite cluttered. i wont make it too complicated melodically..

needs more drive for punk tracks as well. keep on writing !!!! its good to collab with other rockers if you are struggling, cos you can learn a lot if you want, i can do one new track with you. dont know if its gonna be a forward but im sure at least it will add more current vibe to your music. im capable of doing all the parts on my own in my bedroom, but im happy to help others.

[teleblaster]

Thanks Princess.

Brutal honesty is good, you won't hurt me I promise; it's only rock and roll! Thanks for the great feedback. I might take you up on a collab sometime.

Thanks for the listen kvnlt. Muk is a nice little community. I've lived in Everett all my life, as a kid I used to ride my sting ray to the ferry docks and fish for perch in the summer.

[Guest]

Hey Erich,

I'm particularly taken by your comment about not being able to buy a rock forward. I got a couple last month, but I'm not fairing as well as I think I should be! Ha ha!

I like the raw material you have here, but I agree with princess in that it doesn't sit in the same style / genre as the referenced bands...and for all the reasons stated. Varying rhythms left and right, squeaks in the bass track (sometimes of course this is cool!) and general fatness.

I think the melody you have at 0:24 is the closest part for the genre (and I really like it). Clever use of the preceding riff on that section, too. I guess this is what you'd call the chorus? Genuinely good. I like all the riffs you have here, actually, but would suggest reviewing some of the current crop of so called punk /pop bands - it's not very much like the original stuff at all.

In this case, I think some of the other styles that you do more convincingly (blues, folk, rock and combinations of all of these) have coloured your approach in a different genre.

Ongoing good luck.

Shane

[teleblaster]

Thanks Shane, that's probably the best and most helpful review/critique that I've gotten on a forum. To the point, accurate, neither mean spirited nor sugar coated. I hope you keep posting around here!

[scounter72]

Thanks Erich. That's how I am in real life. Don't see the need to change in virtuality