Another round of Forward or Return

[eandersonmusic]

Hey forum fam!
I would love to hear what everyone thinks about this track for listing S230826PC Percussion based Instrumentals for TV commercials.
Would you forward it or return it?!? I always enjoy when Casey makes these types of posts, so I thought I would do one as well.


Here's the listing-
A Bunch of (relatively) Simple PERCUSSION-Based INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a great Publisher with an awesome track record of really big placements in TV Commercials!

This Publisher is looking for several Mid-to-Up-Tempo Instrumentals in the general ballpark of these references:

Dunkin' Donuts Commercial
https://youtu.be/qsec2deE9YY?si=jDYZr97wWMN-22nL

Whole Foods Commercial
https://youtu.be/H115Zf6mJhQ?si=tWCGvolWXD9xlXAw

JCPenney Commercial
https://youtu.be/HBvaQjDSx3k?si=GgGZW9hLF2sQXTQx

Although the references have vocals, please submit Instrumentals only for this pitch. Some non-lyrical vocals like "ahs," "woahs," etc., are okay to include – just don't overdo them!

Please send in well-crafted, (relatively) simple Percussion-based Instrumentals with tons of great energy and engaging rhythms. Your submissions should have solid grooves, and slick arrangements with plenty of dynamics, forward motion, and interest. While the majority of your instrumentation should be percussion-focused, you may also incorporate non-lyrical vocal bits or subtle synth or horn stabs. Please make sure your productions are polished, and that all virtual instruments or samples you use are high-quality and not dated-sounding.

SUPER IMPORTANT TAXI Tip: Simpler is almost always better for pitches like this! Don't try to win "Percussionist of the Year" by submitting complex polyrhythms or too many instruments. Simpler tracks seem to work much more effectively when used with dialogue and voice-overs in TV commercials. Still, please avoid anything that sounds too "looped" – keeping your tracks rhythmically engaging and interesting (without getting overly complicated!) will be key to nailing the needs of this request.

Submissions should be about 2 minutes long, give or take. Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best for this pitch. Do NOT copy the referenced material in any way, shape, or form. Use it only as a guide for tempo, tone, and overall vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed.


And here's my submission-
https://www.taxi.com/members/KIU8KmYxSi ... th-a-spark

Thanks!

[AlanHall]

Erik,
Has it been screened already? Or are you pre-emptively looking for guesses?

I like the mood and the energy of the piece, and it does match the simplicity of the ref tracks. I'm kind of hung up on one synth sound (comes in at about :34 and again just at the 1:00 mark) that is a little too 'up front' because it's just different enough to make me go "huh? I wonder what that is?" and distract me from the shoes (or burgers, or automobiles) that are being sold. For that reason I'll have to return it. The screener I always get would then say "for this listing, try an alt mix where the offending instruments are replaced by something that blends better with the rest of the ensemble". YMMV

[DouglasKnight]

Hey Erik! Nice work on this so far, lots of interesting rhythmic elements and edit points. I'd have to return it due to the horn stabs - they sound ominous, and are so wet that they seem out of place, and they continue throughout the piece without much variation, which makes the piece very repetitive to me. I might try changing the notes to a bright, major triad, and using a much smaller reverb and using them sparingly, if at all. Actually, I'd probably forward the piece if you took them out altogether. Good luck on this!

[eandersonmusic]

Both you guys were right! Basically the synth and horns stabs were not subtle enough.
I should have put this up before submitting, after all that is the point of this forum section, thanks guys!

[AlanHall]

Erik,
The good news is that you know you have what it takes to write great cues. Taking the time to listen with a fresh set of ears (yours, after some distancing yourself from the work; or someone else's ears and POV) will get you over the bar next time. Cheers!

[DouglasKnight]

Both you guys were right! Basically the synth and horns stabs were not subtle enough.
I should have put this up before submitting, after all that is the point of this forum section, thanks guys!

Hey Erik! Sorry to hear it was returned, but I'm sure you'll find a home for it. Yes, definitely helps to get feedback once in a while!. Keep on writing!