Anyone up for critiquing a couple songs?

[jshannon4]

Wondering what you think about these two songs?

https://soundcloud.com/jimm-shannon/bre ... than-never

https://soundcloud.com/jimm-shannon/kis ... than-never

Thanks!

[NathanNasby]

Hey Jimmy,

I'm loving the Alt/Brit rock feel to Breathe! I like the mix, and vocals and harmonies are really great.

A few small things that didn't sit as well in my ears. The intro drums didn't really strike me as a great way to start the song. Not sure if it was the midi sound of the snare or just not a natural feeling rhythm. Might be more of a taste issue.


Right around the 27 second and the 2 min mark there's a sour spot vocally that really stuck out when you slide the harmony up. All your other vocals are really tight.

Really like the song. I can't say much to the lyrics. You should post the lyric in the song post on SC. It's hard to really focus on everything and try to pick out lyrics from the recording.

Really cute start to Kiss her. Also the chorus with the Line "I Wanna Kiss her" is a super cool hook. Your voice is so perfect for this style. Beautiful in many ways.

On the ultra picky stuff, In the intro the picked guitar part panned right was off timing a bit. As the song progressed it seemed to fall into the pocket nicely.

I think the intro is really cute and would work on a personal album cut, but for film and tv pitch it might be good to have an alternative version that gets into the song right away.

Not sure why, but I wanted to hear the bass up a few db. This song would have been super cool too with a bigger build. Adding in drums in the song and then maybe a piano highlight part in places. One of those great songs you can hear 100 different ways. This version is great, but I could hear a bigger production for it as well.

Great songs though. Good luck with them.

[DanLuedke]

These are great! I agree that your voice is great for the genre and the harmonies sound tight. The panned guitar are usually complimenting each other nicely too.

On Breathe I would prefer to hear a little more bass and drums, but maybe you are using a reference track that sounds more guitar and vocal heavy?

[jshannon4]

Nathjan and Dan ,thanx for the imput

[johnlewitt]

Jimmy,

I just listened to Breathe. Nice song, there's something really familiar with the sound which I like.

I like the electric gtr tone you've picked for song.

The acoustic guitar in the left channel seems a little out of place to my ears. Is it hard panned to the left of 50% of the way there? Whatever, I'd play around with it a little just to find a better balance.

Just to mess you up a bit, while Nathan didn't like the drum intro, I did! Though that may say more about me than anything else.

John

[jshannon4]

thanx john interesting to get perspective from all of you