Being Deliberate

[squidlips]

I've found I can shave time off for music if I use my drive time (an hour to school and back, an hour to the studio, etc). I'm also willing to lower some expectations of myself. I no longer have to be excellent at keeping my house clean or cooking dinner, etc, the maintenance stuff. Good enough is good enough in those areas, which buys me more time/energy to chase excellence in other areas of my life, including writing.My kids are older but their bedtime is non-negotiable (except the high school senior who has a later curfew and a car) and I established a non-negotiable time in the evenings to write, if it doesn't interfere with studying too much and sometimes even if it does.....I've stopped chasing the 4.0 as much as I used to. The kids don't interrupt me when I'm writing unless they're missing a limb or hit a major artery but I trained them that way. We did all the after-school activities too in their early years but I quickly found out they didn't like that and neither did I. I think it's great to pursue things like that but too much of anything is still too much and by the end of the week, my kids were exhausted. Me too. My daughter does competition theater and works as well as goes to school....we're plenty busy.....I go to school full-time, write and volunteer in my chosen field.......I found that concentrating my energy on chasing excellence in only my priority areas (music and parenting and school) and lowering my expectations in others (everything else) helped me a lot. I had to lose some unrealistic assumptions to do it but it was a loss I could live with. Compartmentalizing helped a LOT.

[rcase]

Quote:I'm also willing to lower some expectations of myself. I no longer have to be excellent at keeping my house clean or cooking dinner, etc, the maintenance stuff. Good enough is good enough in those areas, which buys me more time/energy to chase excellence in other areas of my life, including writing.This is great. Thank You Squid.

[arkjack]

These are great posts and responses..... balancing between the pursuit of music and all the other people that deserve attention...... family, friends, church, clients , fishing buddies...... The other problem I have been encountering recently is invasion of my "quiet space and time"..... members of the family engaged in activities in the rooms proximate to the studio during the evenings..... my son is now using my workshop.... saws, sanders, and sculpting drills buzzing away..... and then my wife in her sewing room on the other side of the studio wall...... drrrrrr....drrrrrrr.drrrrrrrr..... Makes it impossible to get a clean track with the mics...... so I can only track line instruments..... up until about three months ago, I always had the basement to myself from about 9:00 PM on.... so now I'm trying to restructure the schedule around them so I can find production time without all the noise.... like rayzer, the other members of the family have rights to grow in their activities.... I think the one thing I can add though for rayzer, is maybe declare at least one day or time block for each month where its your time..... no interference..... thats fair to ask for..... As far as being deliberate.... when the demands are real high, I have instruments and a 8 track recorder at the office..... in case the muse strikes without warning.... or if I have to stay too late I can do an hour of practice at the end of the night..... especially during tax season.... ArkJAck

[jchitty]

You're in my thoughts, Squiddy. Great post, btw, Rayzer.

[ncc1701]

Way to go, Rayzer and everybody who's taking a fresh look at priorities. Joining TAXI was in itself the kick in the booty I needed to get serious about making time for music. I figured I had to get something out of my membership fee, after all. So I did the re-evaluation of my time almost a year ago.I've whined on these boards before that I only get a couple of late-night hours a week to really work on music. Well, that's actual studio recording time. Even though I live in a small town, I spent at least an hour of every day driving hither and thither to pick up, drop off, etc. That's all good "noodling" time. I once figured out the perfect solution to a problem lyric while walking my daughter's paper route. I also bring my music notebook to Scout meetings, dance classes, anywhere I might just be waiting around for a while. (It makes me terribly antisocial, but I don't have much in common with most other ballet moms anyway.) Anyway, just wanted to chime in with the gang here, and though we're not all lucky enough to have a job that offers as much down time as Rayzer's, it IS possible to "go confidently in the direction of your dreams" if you're willing to find the way.Kathleen

[kg]

I certainly have no problem cracking whip over myself or anyone else. Count me in and I'll keep on you with the scheduling thing. Get yourself a mini tape recorder or something similar and keep it with you on the commute. Sing out whatever it is your working on, that way you won't lose the good one's you get. Keep a little notebook in your pocket and with you at the dinner table, etc. Any ideas or topics you might talk about with your kids can always be used for song ideas. (This coming from the person who was scribbling lyrics during my mentor luncheon.) There are a ton of us with similar crazy schedules, but you can totally do this and I will certainly be here to remind you so

[Casey H]

Quote:I certainly have no problem cracking whip over myself or anyone else. Are you available by appointment?

[squidlips]

Quote:Quote:I certainly have no problem cracking whip over myself or anyone else. Are you available by appointment? You and the leather. It's like love! Only different.

[rayzer]

First off, Squid, my family will remember you and your husband in our bedtime prayers. I never want to forget what really matters and how truly blessed I am. Thank you all for the support and encouragement. I know we’ll reach our goals if we stick with it and stick together. ArkJAck, thanks for the excellent idea about claiming one night a month for myself. Every time I think of choosing myself over my kids, the song, “Cat’s in the Cradle” starts playing in my head and I promise myself that that won’t be me. But instead of just settling for scraps of time at night when all is quiet, one or two nights a month set aside just for me is totally fair and appropriate.Kathleen, I didn’t realize just how great my job was until I broke it down and saw the potential. I guess I’ll hang out there for a while.Okay, back to the present. What I propose is a “Day of Accountability” on the 15th of every month for everyone who wants to do this. First, state your goals here, and then on the 15th, check in and give us a progress report. That sounds a little scary to me, but I know it’s just what I need to make it happen.My goals for December 15th are to have the junk cleared out of my studio, buy better virtual instruments and learn how to use them, do our family Christmas CD, write a new song and submit it to a taxi listing.Okay, your turn.

[squidlips]

December 15th, huh? Okay, given the change in my circumstances.....I need to record a bluegrass tune and lay down a vocal track for someone's song. I've gotta have the rhythm track for another collaboration laid down before I finish that one up too.I'm gonna give me......oh, two out of those four to get done. If I can do more, I'm on it!I'll check back in when it's time. Thanks for a great idea, rayzer!