Boy Moon Lyric Review

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emr
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Boy Moon Lyric Review

Post by emr » Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:03 am

Hi everyone,

I would love to get your thoughts on my new song "Boy Moon". It's a song about falling in love too quickly with a boy who doesn't know what to do with himself and is lost. I find that there is a lot of pressure on my generation to be a success and to go to college because it's so available here in Ireland, but that isn't what life is about and people tend to forget that. All feedback welcome! I will insert a link to the YouTube video underneath :D

Lyrcs:

Lost boys carryin’ your shadow ‘round like a best friend
It’s okay to let it go
Just ease your mind, ease your worries, ease your refrain
You find me right after sayin’ that I don’t want to fall again
You’re a perfect ten

Oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh

I don't want to fall in love too soon
With a lost boy, but what can I do?
Pushing and pulling
We dance like the tide and the man on the moon
Don't let me lose you

I was like a lost boy wandering the streets on a dark night
On a dark night
Hearin’ the echo of you whispering my name like a prayer
And I’m lookin’ over and under just for an excuse to talk to you
I’ll go where you want to go just tell me what you want to do
Life keeps happenin’ so fast and I don’t want it to
I don’t want it to

Oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh
Oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh

I don't want to fall in love too soon
With a lost boy, but what can I do?
Pushing and pulling
We dance like the tide and the man on the moon
Don't let me lose you
Don’t let me lose you

EMR - Boy Moon

Thanks everyone :D

brianrice
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Re: Boy Moon Lyric Review

Post by brianrice » Tue Jul 23, 2019 3:33 am

Hi,
love your lyrics in general. One thing; maybe tie in the lost boy image with being/living on the moon; distant and unable to connect. Maybe more images relating to the moon. You the earth, kinda thing (?)

Anyway, really great lyrics!

Hope I've helped.

All the best and have fun.

Brian

emr
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Re: Boy Moon Lyric Review

Post by emr » Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:57 am

Thanks so much, Brian!

I love the idea of contrasting the moon to the earth, that's really beautiful :D

Thanks for reading and for the advice!

Cheers,
Eimear

CherylMitchell
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Re: Boy Moon Lyric Review

Post by CherylMitchell » Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:36 am

emr wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:03 am
I love your lyrics!
I submit my ideas cautiously b/c I have by no means proven my success in this realm yet, but I'm passionate about lyrics. :D

I have a few thoughts/ideas which I indicated below. The first I feel like puts the singer right in the midst of the turmoil more dramatically. The second and third ideas are just to help clarify between the singer and the lost boy. The dark night change can help the lyrics be less timeless and also have a double-meaning. ;)

I made all these comments before listening to your song...it's BEAUTIFUL. Keep up the good work!


Lost boys carryin’ your shadow ‘round like a best friend
It’s okay to let it go
Just ease your mind, ease your worries, ease your refrain
You found find me right after I said I didn't sayin’ that I don’t want to fall again
You’re a perfect ten

I was lost like you like a lost boy wandering the streets in the dark on a dark night
in the darkOn a dark night
Hearin’ the echo of you whispering my name like a prayer
And I’m lookin’ over and under just for an excuse to talk to you
I’ll go where you want to go just tell me what you want to do
Life keeps happenin’ so fast and I don’t want it to
I don’t want it to

Cheryl Mitchell
Never be afraid to be yourself - an original is worth more than a copy.

https://soundcloud.com/cm-songs
https://taxi.com/cm-songs

emr
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Re: Boy Moon Lyric Review

Post by emr » Wed Aug 14, 2019 3:21 am

Thank you Cheryl :D I'm really glad you like my song, I like your lyric suggestions! The change in tense saying "you found me" definitely gives a more dramatic feeling, putting the singer in the middle of the song as you said yourself, and "in the dark" creates a very Florence and the Machine kind of vibe :) That style of writing is something I will for sure be looking into when writing in future!

Thanks again for your suggestions, best of luck with your songs! I have followed you on SoundCloud and I'm looking forward to hearing your work :)

Eimear

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