Can anyone help me improve this song?

Find people to work with!

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

Post Reply
Hobbins17
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:39 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England
Contact:

Can anyone help me improve this song?

Post by Hobbins17 » Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:53 pm

Hi everyone!
I've been writing a song and have an instrumental in place that could use some improvements.
I wanted to write a song about how love should be like maths but the lyrics so far are just... bad! It was a great idea in my head but in theory, well I'll post the lyrics I came up with and you can see for yourself :lol:
I'm looking for people who would like to work with me on this song in any way. Either working to improve the instrumental or helping to create better lyrics and any good singers who want to be featured on this song too.
Let me know if you are interested! Thanks, everyone!!
Leanne

P.S. Here is the instrumental and lyrics I have so far:

https://soundcloud.com/hobbins17/love-m ... al/s-HZ93a

Chorus
Love should be simple
Something so easy to do
Just a simple equation
Two halves together are full
Love should be as simple as maths
Add the numbers and get the right answer
If you know how to do it correctly
Put two together and make a pair

Bridge
When you want maths to be simple
Don’t try and find Mr. X
X always makes maths harder
When it doesn’t have to be complex
Leanne Hobbins

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

User avatar
funsongs
Total Pro
Total Pro
Posts: 5137
Joined: Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:18 am
Gender: Male
Location: So Cal
Contact:

Re: Can anyone help me improve this song?

Post by funsongs » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:44 pm

Well - with more time than money on my hands - and liking the challenge of a project like this; and liking your track...
I'm willing to try helping you get it to something that works, - that YOU like.
I'll copy & paste your lyrics into a WORD.doc, so I can follow along with the track... and begin crafting them to work together.

Here's a playlist of completed works that started kind of the same way.
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1/sets/ ... f-the-taxi

Let me know if you're interested.
Thanks.
Last edited by funsongs on Mon Sep 02, 2019 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Peter Rahill
website: www.peterrahill.com
https://soundcloud.com/funsongs-1
You Tube channel: Peter Rahill - funsongs
https://taxi.com/peterrahill
“The future aint what it use to be.” - Yogi Berra

Hobbins17
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:39 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England
Contact:

Re: Can anyone help me improve this song?

Post by Hobbins17 » Mon Sep 02, 2019 12:34 pm

Hello!
Thanks for your reply!
I listened to the playlist and I really enjoyed all the songs on there!
Really great work!
I am very interested in working with you!
Looking forward to it!
Leanne
Leanne Hobbins

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

keyman19
Active
Active
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:14 pm
Gender: Male
Contact:

Re: Can anyone help me improve this song?

Post by keyman19 » Tue Sep 24, 2019 9:48 am

Hi. I am curious why you chose to write "maths" and not just "math" which is like an aggregate type of word. Your melody and production are quite clever.

Hobbins17
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Apr 25, 2019 12:39 pm
Gender: Female
Location: England
Contact:

Re: Can anyone help me improve this song?

Post by Hobbins17 » Mon Sep 30, 2019 12:42 pm

Hello there!
It is just a difference between American English and British English. In England, we shorten 'mathematics' to 'maths' but in America, it is shortened to 'math' :)

Leanne
keyman19 wrote:
Tue Sep 24, 2019 9:48 am
Hi. I am curious why you chose to write "maths" and not just "math" which is like an aggregate type of word. Your melody and production are quite clever.
Leanne Hobbins

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest