Chaos, Falling Apart Listing

[Mark Kaufman]

Anyone think this song is/isn't worth pursuing for the listing below? This is a first pass...I would re-record the works to achieve "broadcast quality"...my concern is with the song itself. Would you spend the money to pitch this song for that listing? Really not searching for compliments here... Thanks! Lyrics posted below.The Walls Come Tumbling DownNEW LISTING -- SONGS in ALL STYLES about chaos, crumbling down, falling apart, disintegration, etc. are sought by an LA-based Music Library owned by veterans of that industry. A good example is "Burning Down The House" by the Talking Heads. Great performances are essential, especially vocally. They offer a non-exclusive, 50/50 split deal -- you keep your original copyrights. Broadcast quality needed. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY -- NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response. Submissions must be received no later than Jan. 8, 2008.The Walls Come Tumbling DownI can't lie here anymoreWith my lotus flowerAnd I can't drink here anymoreNo, the milk's gone sourIn the land of milk and honeyToo much sugar in the candyNothing tastes good anymoreAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the fine good homeThat I built on a vision of heavenWas an illusionAnd the walls came tumbling downWhen I first came here I sworeI had to get me someNow I'm searching for a doorThat can take me fromThe land of milk and honeyStones are crashing all around meAnd now I'm pinned down to the floorAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the fine good homeThat I built on a vision of heavenWas an illusionAnd the walls came tumbling down(INSTRUMENTAL)So it seems those golden dreams have scatteredBut I really don't need dreams anymoreAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the walls come tumbling downAnd the fine good homeThat I built on a vision of heavenWas an illusionAnd the walls came tumbling down(Copyright 2007 by Mark Kaufman)

[trentoliphant]

The only thing that I might be worried about is the style of the song not quite fitting the chaos, disintegration theme. I know the listing says all styles, but that would be my worry. I wonder if it would be worth it to contact TAXI to get a clarification that ALL styles means ALL styles or are they really looking more for certain styles over others. Maybe others on the forum with more experience than me can weigh in on this one. Lyrically I think it is worth pursuing. The lines in the chorus feel a bit awkward to me ("And the fine good home That I built ...")I actually really like the idea of the irony of a mellow song speaking about destruction - but it would have to be a great song to pull it off and now this seems merely good. Some specifics - in the verses you speak of the LAND of milk and honey - but the chorus is about the walls of a home. There's a bit of a disconnect there - nothing ties them together. The 2nd pre-chorus takes us right into the chorus imagery (although the second line doesn't quite fit the meter). The "golden dreams" scattered in the 3rd pre-chorus could work well - if in the verses you had built the walls from your dreams - or the foundation of the walls were your dreams. The second line of that one doesn't really make sense - why don't you need dreams anymore?The first pre-chorus doesn't really tie to anything other than the sweet of the honey - but that's not candy. Sure "nothing tastes good" ties to the not being able to drink but has nothing to do with walls.In the second verse - "get me some" what? The searching for a door works fine in the wall theme.Just my thoughts.Trent

[Mark Kaufman]

Trent,That was an excellent post. This is a song I was getting ready to toss on the scrapheap of personal oddities. I am aware of the bizarreness of the lyric...Steve Gilbert put it best, saying something to the effect of milk and honey and falling slabs of concrete just don't seem to mix. Very true! The song was meant as an allegory of being into drugs for years until that dreamland falls apart like a house of cards. Such vague lyrics have no place in today's market. But when I saw this listing, I began to wonder if this was for a film placement or something...who else would want only songs about falling down? And when they put "Burning Down the House" as an example, it made me wonder if a vague weird lyric would work after all.It probably won't. But for your consideration, read THESE lyrics...(OMG)...gotta wonder...Watch out you might get what you're afterCool baby strange but not a strangerI'm an ordinary guyBurning down the houseHold tight wait 'til the party's overHold tight we're in for nasty weatherThere has got to be a wayBurning down the houseHere's your ticket pack your bag; time for jumpin' overboardTransportation is hereClose enough but not too far, baby you know where you areFightin' fire with fireAll wet hey you might need a raincoatShakedown thieves walking in broad daylightThree hundred sixty five degreesBurning down the houseIt was once upon a place sometimes I listen to myselfGonna come in first placePeople on their way to work say baby what did you expectGonna burst into flameMy house S'out of the ordinaryThat's right Don't want to hurt nobodySome things sure can sweep me off my feetBurning down the houseNo visible means of support and you have not seen nothing yetEverything's stuck togetherI don't know what you expect staring into the TV setFighting fire with fireBurning down the house

[trentoliphant]

I agree that many lyrics of hit songs make no sense whatsoever. (There's a great video of a comic on YouTube that talks about the problems in a couple of pop songs).I think that if you were to take the song as it exists now (even with the some of the lyric/image problems - just fix some of the meter issues) and make it much much edgier musically it could work - vague lyrics and all. I was mostly talking about doing the contrast - you would probably want to make it more commercial. Plus, if you did that, you'd have something that could be placed other places.Trent

[Mark Kaufman]

That's true---although I have a difficult time imagining someone buying this sort of music, even if the lyrics were killer. What I plan to do is speed it up a bit and add more electric guitar and balalaikas throughout, rather than just jolting us in the middle instrumental. Harmonies will be pulled back some and less all over the map. Crisper sound, less mud, edgier vocal. And I guess we'll see!Yeah, okay, and I'll see if I can revisit the lyric somehow... (man, I hate lyrics)...*sigh*Trent, THANK YOU. Very much appreciated.-Lyle

[djdeweese]

lyle-- re: posting the lyrics to "Burning Down the House" ... well played! In fact, I've been considering this listing in the context of the reference song, which, in my mind, doesn't make a coherent statement of chaos or falling apart. The lyrics are chaotic, but not coherent. As is always the case, a song that is already a successful song doesn't have to get past the Taxi screeners for a forward. Sometimes I worry that the extra scrutiny of worrying about a forward can be a barrier to creative expression, but it does challenge me to make sure I think my songs are really submission quality.For my reading of the listing, which clearly says "all styles," your song is appropriate for submission. With the right production values, I don't see anything wrong with acoustic-rock for this listing. What about a song like "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas? Very mellow, but all about entropy and disintegration. Just my two cents worth, but I say go for it.

[Mark Kaufman]

Quote:lyle-- re: posting the lyrics to "Burning Down the House" ... well played! In fact, I've been considering this listing in the context of the reference song, which, in my mind, doesn't make a coherent statement of chaos or falling apart. The lyrics are chaotic, but not coherent. As is always the case, a song that is already a successful song doesn't have to get past the Taxi screeners for a forward. Sometimes I worry that the extra scrutiny of worrying about a forward can be a barrier to creative expression, but it does challenge me to make sure I think my songs are really submission quality.For my reading of the listing, which clearly says "all styles," your song is appropriate for submission. With the right production values, I don't see anything wrong with acoustic-rock for this listing. What about a song like "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas? Very mellow, but all about entropy and disintegration. Just my two cents worth, but I say go for it.Thanks, Daniel. I've been thinking about "Burning Down the House", and you're right about the screen concern. But the more I think about it, what we remember most about that song is it's title, being shouted by David Byrne: Burnin' down the house! It's an exceptional song, more about the groove and interplay of instruments and sonic treatments than it is about the lyrics...and it was released by a thoroughly well-established group.If I am successful in re-working this song, well...maybe it will fly. I think it's a huge maybe.What I wonder is this: why do they want these songs? Is it for a film placement? Is it a new label called "End of the World Records"? Very curious about that.The sad fact is, I'm still in poor financial shape and probably won't be joining TAXI as a member in time...gotta feed the kids...*sigh*Thanks for the thumbs up!-Lyle

[anne]

Hi Lyle - it seems like you are on the right track , being aware of the need to be current and authentic in the song writing, and having it relate visually as well as musically - I'd bet that when you do have the money to join taxi you'll have a whole stack of material ready to go!

[Mark Kaufman]

Quote:Hi Lyle - it seems like you are on the right track , being aware of the need to be current and authentic in the song writing, and having it relate visually as well as musically - I'd bet that when you do have the money to join taxi you'll have a whole stack of material ready to go!Thank you, Anne! I appreciate your words. You know, I have an unusual perspective on songwriting, TAXI and success...and I'm sure I'm not alone...but I am viewing this as a vehicle to improve my songwriting, period. I don't have an overriding jones to be rich and famous or even to have a hit song. But I do want to write better, and I will also continue to try to write hitworthy songs as well as songs like this one that simply appeal to me. I am playing seriously...but I am also just playing.Wow, I think I've finally achieved that zen thing...