Christmas Song

[jcapp88]

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to get some feedback on a Christmas song I submitted to the listing below. It already passed, but I'd like to have it edited for future submissions. Any feedback on the mix would be great (I've been working on it a lot lately so I'd like some comments from fresh ears). It's the track "This Year" that's on my Taxi page. I had a female vocalist that I went to Berklee with sing on it for me.


ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS SONGS (in ALL genres) are needed by the Owner of an outstanding Music Library with a very long list of high-end Film and TV placements. He's looking for Christmas songs that have a contemporary production that brings the holiday spirit to life. Lyric themes are fairly wide open, but please don't submit anything too cheeky, juvenile, or inappropriate. Show a little respect to Santa Male and female vocals are both okay for this pitch. All tempos are welcome. Broadcast quality is necessary (excellent home recordings should be fine). Please submit one to three original songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a Yes/No basis - No full critiques. Submissions must be received no later than Friday, September 13, 2013. TAXI #Y130913XM


"This Year" on my Taxi page(Lyrics are included). Any feedback is a huge help and greatly appreciated.


Thanks!

Joe

[jcapp88]

Or here:

https://soundcloud.com/satellitesurvival/this-yearr

[VanderBoegh]

Hey Joe, I like this song and the approach. I think you've got a winner if you can tweak a few things that stood out to me.

First, two GOOD things I liked:
1) Stylistically I really like your vibe. The piano beating 1/4 notes is a really cool Beatles strategy that works great with your drum pattern and the mood of the song.
2) The lyrics are also good, and I think it's very appropriate for a Christmas song.

Two things that could be BETTER:
1) The singer grew on me by the end of the song, but at first her voice struck me as pitchy and - don't let her slap me! - a bit whiny. I think another strong pass on the vocals would help here. Also, you'll probably want to run her through a pitch-corrector, as she had a tendency to be slightly off center.
2) I think your choruses could stand out a bit more to give them a bigger WOW factor. You could do this by adding additional instrumentation in the choruses, or dropping stuff out of the verses, or even dropping stuff out of the chorus. Just make the sections different somehow, because right now they blend together too much for contemporary standards.

Keep after it, Joe. This will be an amazing song once you get it to the level it needs to be at.

~~Matt

[jcapp88]

Thanks, Matt! I did melodyne the vocals, but I still need to learn the program better because there are still spots where the pitch does lose its center. Are there any spots or words specifically that you hear lose pitch that I can go in and tweak? Also, I'll see what I can add into the chorus to fatten it up. Thanks again!

Joe

[jcapp88]

I posted an updated version on my Taxi page. I just added an 8th note shaker in the chorus- does this help? Now I just need some feedback on which spots the vocals need tuning work on..

[nick.moxsom]

Joe,

Great work. Good song structure and a good lyric (although I was confused by "I just wanna have my baby here" – you could probably lose the word "have" to get the right meaning across).

I'm with Matt on the vocalist. The song sounds like it really needs someone with more power in that register to bring the song up to a celebratory level.

IMHO, I think you should try and strengthen the bridge. I was really looking forward to a good strong ramp into the final chorus, and it didn't quite deliver. I'd suggest playing around with the chords and melody here. I sometimes get demoralised at the thought of another re-write, but it's invariably worth it, in my experience.

Stick with it, dude, it's a good song. A few tweaks and it'll be ready for next year ; )

Nick

[jcapp88]

Hey Nick,
Thanks for pointing attention to the bridge. Maybe I can add something to it to bring a stronger ramp into the final chorus. Is there any way that I could strengthen up the vocals through any FX? For the lead vocal, I have one track in the verse and tripled in the chorus. Any Ideas? Thanks a lot.

Joe

[cassmcentee]

Please forgive me... This will sound harsh...
I'm afraid the vocal sunk this one for me.
She is heavy in the nose tonaly (that's why it feels like whining) and hits flat too much for my ears...
I'm not so sure a pitch correction will make it good enough because it won't correct her tone and the flats are going to give you that auto-tune (which will have to be at an extreme setting) Hip Hop unnatural hop from one note up to the next (won't fit with the feel you are going for).
I would suggest finding another vocalist.

The other thing that hit me wrong was the opening sampled drum.
It sounded too midi/sampled against the rest of the tune.

Just my opinion, Sincerely,
Cass

[LittleRedChurch]

I am so out of sync... I really like her voice!!! Lol. Kinda like Diana Ross. Taste is such a fickle beast. No two people's are the same... I definitely see this as old school. Motown in the hey day. I thought it was really sweet and fun to listen to. I'd wonder about the 'current' criteria. (I'm one to talk... have you checked out my Under Du Sea attempt for the happy sunny day listing??? )

Really enjoyed the listen!!

Graham

[jcapp88]

Hey Cass, thanks for the reply. As for the singer going flat, I did try and melodyne the vocals, so it would be on my part if there are any tuning issues. Is there anywhere specific or any words you hear that go flat so I can tweak them? I can probably do it with out an auto-tune effect. By the sampled drum, do you mean the snare roll? I like the sample of the snare, so do you have any suggestions for how to make it less midi/sampled sounding?

Graham - Thanks! I'm with you, I do like the tone of her voice. BUT, I know there are some tuning issues like people are pointing out. I just am having a hard time hearing where they are on my system. I tried to model this after a few Christmas songs - Mariah Carey's "All I Want" and Brittney Spears Christmas Song(but who says thats contemporary anymore?