Coming home - New Title - So Alive

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All, this is a follow up to my previous post that I accidentally deleted... I followed the common direction from your suggestions and have re-crafted this song- New title, , lost a verse, brought it in under 4:00, etc... If you have some time take a listen and offer up any suggestions that you have before I "abandon" this one and move on... One specific question I have is what category to pitch this one in. http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.p ... illerTitle "I'm Comin' Home"I'm countin' Raindrops on the windshield,and cursin' John Deere's in the road tyin' up both lanes,but I got Jesus watchin' on from the dashboard,of this old Chevy Van.That lazy sun looks so familiar.It's been awhile since I've been down this dusty lane,That old hound still chasin' cars, just a little slower.will we meet again?Now for me I'm on this road to find my way home,leaving yesterday a memory in an old song.When I see the stars in Texas,Wide open spaces all surround memakes me feel so alive.Every time it leaves me breathless,when I cross that lonesome highwaymakes me feel so alive,makes me feel so alive .I'm Comin' HomeUp in the North there stands a Scarecrow.On his arm sits a lonely crow with a broken wing.Neither one can make a move to find his way home,So there they standBut for me I'm on this road to find my way home,leaving yesterday a memory in an old song.When I see the stars in Texas,Wide open spaces all surround me,makes me feel so alive.Every time it leaves me breathless,when I cross that Lonesome highway,makes me feel so alive.These Southern nights leave me restless,Old memories all surround me,makes me feel so alive.I can see the stars in Texas,That old moon shines above me,makes me feel so alive,makes me feel so alive .I'm comin' Home

[teleblaster]

This is a really nice tune. Seems like a good prospect for a singer/songwriter pitch. I like the symmetry in the verses; good prosody there. Some great word pictures. I related to the scarecrow and the broken wing crow, just not sure which one is me...A few nits: (I'm listening on my laptop right now)- I'd back off the delay a bit, or refactor it with less delay time and feedback. It might be a real cool effect to turn in key spots in the vocal 'Makes me feel so alive' <...makes me feel so alive...'> But there are places where the syllables are pretty compressed in the lyric and the delay clouds things up.-A few places where the rythms on the guitar and the lyric weren't quite jibing. I think the vocal might be a tad ahead of the beat in places; nothing that couldn't be fixed in an editor.-You could get dinged for the title/theme being cliche'. 'I'm Comin' Home' probably wouldn't tickle the ears of a Nashville producer if that's the pitch.Loved your voice on this cut. Kind of a cross between Barenaked Ladies and grunge. Very enjoyable listen. Best of luck with this one!Erich

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Erich, Thanks, the delay thing seems to be only in the MP3 ? I don't get that, oh well, I'll take the tips and re- run it through the mill and see what comes out the other side...As for the title... I originally had this titled "So Alive", changed it to "The Stars in Texas, changed it to " I'm Comin' Home".... So maybe I'll go with my first choice... Thanks for the input but I'll never get this through if I have to get over the bar you set for us all with the last song of yours " Spend a Little Time With Me"..

[ideascapes]

Craig,Nice bold guitar in the intro. Agree with Erich on the vox echoes; maybe use sparingly. Thought I heard a little distortion during the 1st chorus, not sure if vocal, guitar, or whole mix. Another good tune!Vince