"Commercialistic Style" in Hip-Hop

[mouchee]

I recently submitted a song to listing S091123HH, which stated:

COMMERCIAL/CONTEMPORARY SOUNDING/UPBEAT HIP-HOP SONGS are sought by the Music Supervisor of a major cable TV network for a new NFL THEME SONG

In #309's critique they mentioned that:
"Your song is just a little too much on the underground side with regard to the style of production, lyric and melodies. Adding more commercialistic style to this song is one way of making the song more attractive to the mass."

and

"Lyrically and melodically on your verses you can strengthen this song."

Of the submissions that I have made thus far, I haven't gotten any forwards - but I really appreciated the feedback. I know I've got work to do in sharpening up my skill & product.

Even this particular submission, I appreciate that fact that I got feedback. I have to take it for what it's worth, realizing that I am submitting music to industry people. But here's what irritated me (and reminded me that I don't plan on doing too much corporate music).

What's "commercial" at any given time is relative and certainly depends on who you ask when it comes to hip hop. Hip-hop is hip-hop, and commercial comes from what is hot on the underground. I know the listing asked for commercial, but again.....that's quite confusing...ESPECIALLY when requested for hip-hop. What i hear as "Commercial" hip-hop is certainly not known for strong lyrical content (in fact, it's known for WEAK lyrical content), which is why i slimmed it down lyrically so that the masses can digest.

Based on your critique, sounds like the posting was really asking for (or your interpretation was really) pop-hop.
Like this song:
http://ballhype.com/video/t_pain_pittbu ... ight_song/

AND NOT HIP HOP like THIS song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjg66sy2 ... r_embedded

Both are very current. One is bubblegum pop with TPain on top, one is Underground gone commercial.

Also....

The listing requested.."Lyrically, songs should include NFL and Football."

But your feedback stated:

"You should consider re working the verses lyrically so that it has more of a universal feel....." and "The idea is to attract all football audiences with the theme song....".

Hmmmm....I'll work on that. Sounds like it was "too much" football and "too" hip-hop.

If the postings like these want pop, "Pop-Hop" may be a better term than Commercial/Contemporary Hip Hop. Either that or give an artist or song to relate to. It's confusing for people who really do hip-hop.


Thanks,

[mouchee]

Thought I attached the song file, but I don't see it, so here's a link to it.....

http://www.mediafire.com/?o5wtwmd3c2k