Critique Please?

[rmarler]

Could you please fill out this TAXI CUSTOM CRITIQUE?Thank youDisconnected.mp3Style__ On target for today's market in Singer Songwriter genre__ Not current sounding__ Hard to classifyStyle Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Melody__ Good music in verses__ Verses could be stronger__ Good music in chorus__ Verses/Chorus sound too similar__ Memorable Hook__ Hook not obvious enoughMelody Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Structure__ Intro too long__ Well-written structure__ Good sectional contrast__ Not enough sectional contrast__ Could use a bridgeStructure Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Lyric__ First line makes me want to hear more__ Engaging__ Cohesive__ Good use of imagery__ Rhymes well__ Communicates emotion to listener__ Lacks focus__ Unique__ Too abstract__ I don't understand it__ Too predictable__ Too many cliches__ Awkward phrasing__ Vocal does not help to sell song__ Vocal does help to sell songLyrcial Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Title__ Good title__ So-So title__ Can't determine title by listening__ Could appear in a more strategic place__ Doesn't repeat enough__ Repeats too oftenTitle Comments:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________OVERALL COMMENTS___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Now give a rating 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best:__ Music__ Lyrics__ Marketability__ Arrangement__ Production__ EngineeringNOW. Would you walk this into a label credibility on this music? color]__ YES__ NONOW. Give a reason why did or didn't forward this:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[southpaw]

rmarler... Good song. Nice voice! I could hear this song used in a variety of film scenes. I could also see it being performed in a variety of venues, its appealing and has a warm vibe, and i like going to shows of this style.Is there something in particular you want input on?

[rmarler]

Thanks for the kind words. It's funny the comment about film scores.. I get that comment allot on this song. but it's nice to hear that from a complete stranger.Specifically what I was looking for input on the questions mentioned on Taxi's review checklist attached to the original post

[hummingbird]

Style__ On target for today's market in Singer Songwriter genre__ Not current soundingX Hard to classifyStyle Comments:Mix needs work. The guitar is covering the voice. I think there are some SS elements, but I feel the song drags a little. Not tempo - but there is a pause at the end of every phrase that makes it feel like the song is lagging & too much like a ballad.Melody__ Good music in versesX Verses could be stronger__ Good music in chorusX Verses/Chorus sound too similar__ Memorable HookX Hook not obvious enoughMelody Comments:I think there are some good elements in this, but the phrasing makes the song lag. As I said elsewhere, the hook doesn't stand out.StructureX Intro too long__ Well-written structure__ Good sectional contrastX Not enough sectional contrast__ Could use a bridgeStructure Comments:The hook/chorus sounds the same as the verse. The same phrasing and melodic patterns continue until well after the hook. When it does lift, it is very good. LyricI can't comment on the lyrics as they were not provided.TitleX Good title__ So-So title__ Can't determine title by listening__ Could appear in a more strategic place__ Doesn't repeat enough__ Repeats too oftenTitle Comments:Good title, seems relevant to me.OVERALL COMMENTSBefore you remix I'd think about how to phrase the song so that there isn't a pause at the end of every single line. Intro needs to be shorter. Speak the words out loud and think about how you'd say them conversationally. Structure the arrangement of the song to support that conversation. The instrumentation sounds good, but I think the production needs work.Now give a rating 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best:8 Music__ Lyrics (not provided)5 Marketability (ballads do not have much of a market)5 Arrangement6 Production6 EngineeringNOW. Would you walk this into a label credibility on this music? color]__ YESX NO NOW. Give a reason why did or didn't forward this:arrangement needs work, hook needs to stand out, mix needs more balance so the vocals aren't covered. I DID enjoy listening to it. And there were parts of the song that made me feel an emotional connection to the singer and the topic. So I like the like the ideas you have here, I just think there needs to be more contrast, better phrasing, and some tweaking on the mix.~ hope that helps. It was interesting (and difficult) to fill out this form. Remember, it's just one person's opinion. Feel free to keep or sweep.

[heinsite]

hi rmater--i don't like nor use those forms, but my notes say:--intro is 30 seconds long--too long, cut in 1/2, the chords in the verse are certainly there enough to not have them intro that long!--there is no real chorus, i hear the chorus as a very nice bridge though--do NOT lose that whatever you end up doing with the tune--structurally IMHO you have one verse too many, --soooo i would bring the instrumental interlude in WAY sooner, regardless of the structure you may have if you chcose to work on this more, it's nice--your vocal is very nice but the mix is cloudy, and we can't hear your vocal as clearly as we should, though i had no problem understanding the words--a bit too much reverb--lyrically, it's a nice vibe, but what the heck is the message? i would like to hear more images we can sink our teeth into, too many generalities. i like the idea of disconnected, but why? concrete images would really help this IMHO.--the song is too long for today's radio, but halving the intro and letting go of one of the verses that really doesn't say much anyway, and your length would be about right.very nice effort and vibe. in my opinion, what we need in music on the raydeeoh are more beautiful ballads.i think you're half way there, keep up the good work,all the best,warren

[rmarler]

Wow and Thank you for the support and critiques. your feedback has given me a new insight into how my music can be perceived. Sorry for such a delayed reply. I have been focused on developing my band.

[feaker]

Bird and WarrenThink the dude should send you guys five bucks for all that work.Very accurate I might add.Liked your voice rkeep at itpaul

[mcanty]

My first impression is that, if it were my song, I would dry up the effects. I think this would sound good with a sparse production to it, at least make it more current. Vocalist has good pipes. It's also a good acoustic sound..........but I have learned that too much verb and so forth will kill your chances before you even get started.I like the song. And honestly if the verb was reduced...........I think you would have a nice song to pitch..............don't get me wrong, it is nice to begin with......but I think it would also be current.Good song

[mcanty]

I personally like the arrangement of this song..............I'm not sure every song out there has to have a big cheesy manufactured hook. This is more singer / songwriter than pop. Just dry it up.

[mcanty]

This song really stuck in my head.............lol. The word "disconnected" has a great emotional feel to it........I think if you modernize the production it will be a great singer / songwriter pitch. I think there is a great, simple, emotional song that is drowning in reverb. I hope this doesn't offend because I really like this.