Dangerous

[Pinkstar]

Hi there,I wrote a new tune, it's still pretty rough but I wanted your input.I think this could be one of my best songs yet. The lyrics could be better but I can't put my finger on it. It's called "Dangerous"http://www.taxi.com/jvb

[asiabackpacker]

Hey JVB...I'll be honest, it didn't totally grab me. But it's also not the genre that I generally listen to.The feel gets good when the chorus comes in. On second listen, I think it was mainly the piano intro that didn't grab me in the beginning. My main criticism listening to this is that it is a little vague. Maybe I am just thick, but I'm not sure what you're singing about.OK, on the third listen I get what you are singing about, but I'm not sure that most people will get it. It sounds like it's about waking up to youself...but I think that can happen in many different ways. In what way are you waking up to yourself, and besides just having a "beautiful dream that was a wakeup call to being honest with yourself." Those first few lyrics don't really give me much information, and me personally, I want more information. I actually can really connect to the subject matter of the song, but at the same time it's really difficult for me to connect because I feel like I have to work so hard to connect because the specifics of what is happening are a little vague.....Wow, I kinda went off! I hope some of this makes some sense.I can understand your excitement. It does have a very cool, and unique feel. I like the melody. I think the lyrics could pull it together for me, and I hope some of my ramblings above help. And again, I'm not crazy about the piano intro...Elliott

[Pinkstar]

Thank you very much. I agree. Something about the lyrics is bothering me as well. I'll keep playing with it. It was not for my band even though my guitarplayer loves it and wants to add it on the album we are going to remaster. I had Kelly Clarkson in mind, hmmmmmmmm...back to work!