Dispatch Return

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crs7string
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Dispatch Return

Post by crs7string » Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:22 am

One of the fun things that has come out of going to the Rally is the opportunity to collaborate over the internet.Jacqueline (jvbod69) and I did a track for:A fun, uptempo, current-sounding POP SONG a la LILLY ALLEN’s “SMILE” (from her 2006 release “Alright, Still”) is needed by the Music Supervisor of a new major network TV show that’s a cross between “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “Entourage.” It’s for a party scene, so the groove must be infectious and the mood playful. Lyrically, they’re fairly open, but stay within the general theme of “Smile.” And, of course, no profanity. FEMALE VOCALS ONLY. They’re offering a license fee of about $6000-$8000 for this cue. Broadcast quality needed [excellent-sounding home recordings are OK]. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response. As always, we will notify everyone via e-mail, whether your submissions have been Forwarded or Returned. Submissions must be received no later than 12:00 NOON, Pacific Standard Time (California time), Monday, Dec. 10, 2007. TAXI # D071210POWe were returned without a critique.We now feel we can spend more time than the weekend we spent rushing to get this submitted.We are open to input on the track to help us "crank it up" to a higher level for a future listing.Here's the track:http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... tream=1All constructive input is welcome.Chuck
http://www.TAXI.com/crs7string

"Don't give me time, give me a deadline". Duke Ellington

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Re: Dispatch Return

Post by djdeweese » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:09 am

Hi Chuck-- Good material to work with, it seems to me. Perhaps it could be a little faster, is it around 100 BPM? Maybe a 4 to 8 BPM bump. Also, with the good bones you've built up, perhaps there is a way to add a little to the texture after you do the first verse and chorus. It wouldn't have to be out in front, just something to add a little spice here and there (maybe a little clav or wah-wah percussive guitar accents?). (By the way, don't you wish you could find out the show and episode they are working on so you could hear what they actually chose?)

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Re: Dispatch Return

Post by ciskokidd » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:44 am

Hey Chuck,My first impression on your tune is that it definitely has the quirkiness of Lilly Allen's tune. The drum programming needs to be addressed as it sort of just rides on the same loop the whole way. You should probably spice it up a bit with some fills, stops, and variations.I'm not to fond of the synth sounds for the style of music. The parts are very cool, but could benefit from some more contemporary sounds. All in all the area that really needs to be addressed is the vocal delivery. I realize you did this quickly and Jacqueline (i'm assuming she's singing) is not quite making me believe what she is singing. The lyric implies a sassy delivery which Lilly Allen serves up with gusto in her tune.I think you really have something to work with here. Structurally I think the foundation of the song is strong.Best of luck,Cisco

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Re: Dispatch Return

Post by Pinkstar » Fri Dec 14, 2007 9:53 am

Yep, the vocals need work, Now that we have more time I can actually sing it better and improve the lyrics as well. A bridge will be great too.Let's get this baby to where it needs to be;)JVB

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Re: Dispatch Return

Post by jude3 » Wed Jan 09, 2008 4:05 pm

Did anyone get forwarded for Lilly Allen?I would like to hear it.

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