Don't Smile (redone with Andy Gabrys)

[wen]

I can't find where I left this thread last so I'm just posting it anew... (sorry)

Any suggestions, feedback on this new version? Shooting for a midnight submit for the listing wanting a "longing/yearning song about love with a soaring payoff":

https://soundcloud.com/wendawilliamson/ ... -master-02

Much obliged to Andy for his fabulous work on this!!!! I think he has supersonic hearing.

[andygabrys]

here is the other thread. http://forums.taxi.com/topic99363.html

I linked to this new one on it.

here is the listing:

INDIE MUSIC PUBLISHING COMPANY specializing in Film/TV placements needs ADULT CONTEMPORARY SONGS and INSTRUMENTALS in the wide range of Celine Dion, Michael Buble, Josh Groban etc. They'll be looking for songs with TONS of EMOTIONAL impact that can capture the listeners attention from START to FINISH. If you submit a song, be sure your lyric themes are UNIVERSAL and touch on emotions such as LOVE and LONGING. Be sure your chorus provides a perfect SOARING PAY-OFF to the listener. Vocal performances needed to be STRONG and sung with conviction. If you submit an instrumental be sure it can maintain interest throughout. MALE and/or FEMALE vocals are BOTH OK. A good sounding demo will work here; the focus is on the EMOTION of the song or instrumental. Broadcast Quality is needed (excellent home recordings are fine). You must own or control 100% of your composition and master recording. Please submit one to three songs and/or instrumentals online or per CD, include lyrics (if applicable). All submissions will be screened by the OWNER of the company on a YES/NO BASIS - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI - and must be received no later than Monday, January 7, 2013.
TAXI #Y130107AC

[pedrocosta]

Fantastic!!!
Andy you did a wonderful job. You really brought it out
Congrats you two!

[Cruciform]

Sounds great. Excellent work all round and good luck!!

[CrimsnSyrn]

I really like this collaboration!! Cool piece, great production, and Wen I like your voice - it has a really cool unique quality to it.

IMO, I don't know how on target it is for the listing, but if not, I'm sure you'll find a home for it at some point!!

Best of luck,

Juliet

[wen]

I really like this collaboration!! Cool piece, great production, and Wen I like your voice - it has a really cool unique quality to it.

IMO, I don't know how on target it is for the listing, but if not, I'm sure you'll find a home for it at some point!!

Best of luck,

Juliet

Hi Juliet, Thank you. I don't know if its on target either, (having been CERTAIN about things being 'on target' in the past, )

But, I thought it had some of the referenced qualities of yearning and a soaring payoff etc. Plus Andy's production puts it much more solidly in that genre. We'll see, as they say.

re: my voice, As I've been told over the years, I AM NOT A SINGER, haha! Stevie Nicks has been brought up as a point of reference, what do I know. Anyway, after reading just a couple pages of my friend Jaime Vendera's e-book, I think I have improved a lot! (In case anyone else is looking for singing help)

Thanks everyone.

peace out

[magiceraser]

Hello!
Very nice song and very well recorded.
I am not sure if you nailed what they are asking for however I have been so confused
of late regarding critiques and forwards anything is possible!
I sent an old favorite of mine as well "So much I miss you" and am awaiting a response
however I am not so confident as while my custom critique was favorable
they told me that it should be edited (my songs tend to be too long) but I have not
had the time or the resource to completely redo this song and go back to studio.
On another note I am now following you on soundcloud as "Songs for Kaylen"
which is my Type 1 diabetes charitable album.
I was absolutely blown away by your dubstep tune....you are a versatile and original composer.
Good luck and let us know regarding this listing.
Paul

[wen]

Paul thanks for taking the time to listen. Since I am in the early stages of this game, I totally agree about learning the critique/forward ropes... My guess would be, unless your song is in close to 'final' form, it won't be forwarded; the end receivers have little time or imagination, they want to see the product finished and consumable as is.

I took Don't Smile to a songwriter's critiquing group the other night, and I was surprised how nitpicky they were over details that really didn't seem important to me, suggesting small word changes, adding a bridge, asking me "what structure is that, I'm confused" etc. To me the important question was, does it communicate yearning and longing? But, I am ultimately trying to write for film/tv, so their perspective is a bit different I guess

As for the Dubstep piece, when one works with the mighty Cruciform... watch out world. I was honored for the role and part I played in that project, but Cruciform is truly gifted.

Wenda