DRINKING WATER song an "almost forward"

[steveprobst]

The lyrics were said to be right on point. But the reasons it wasn't forwarded were as follows -

1. Wanted to hear more development in backing track and sooner
2. Wasn't crazy about the strings I used when accompaniment DID come in.

Here "Pure Water" : http://steveprobst.bandzoogle.com/blog/ ... pure-water

If anyone has an inkling as to what they would do to move the representation along better, feel free to chime in. I made it sparse due to time constraints (which is always a good exercise)

Thanks.

[niallyboy]

Hi Steve,

I like the way the track builds, and your less-is-more approach is my personal cup of tea. This is an excellent track, and depending upon the listing description, this could have been forwarded to let THE CLIENT decide. Please post the listing so that we may read something particular about it which may have warranted a return.

Great vocals, time feel, and mix.

cheers,

[steveprobst]

Thanks Niall!

I just read listing again. Was supposed to be "no critique" (I'm always glad when there is one anyway)

Just noticed "You can submit Songs with full production or simple, stripped-down acoustic arrangements." lol

SONGS about DRINKING WATER are needed by an A-List Hollywood Music Supervisor working on a Documentary Film. He’s thirsty (pardon the pun) for Songs with Male or Female Vocals with lyric themes relating to fresh, clean, DRINKING WATER. He’s interested in hearing Songs in ALL TEMPOS and ALL GENRES, as long as they have lyrics about water, pure water, cold water, water is life, etc. Quoting the Music Supervisor: “It’s okay for the lyrics to be literal and right on the nose for this pitch. That’s what I’m looking for! Clean drinking water is a huge issue that this film is dealing with, and I need a song with lyrics that will help us bring this issue into the light.” The right lyric theme and message are more important than the genre or style for this pitch. Please avoid anything that’s too somber or dark. On the other hand, don’t be silly either! They need the perfect song to play during a montage of people receiving fresh drinking water in an environment where it’s typically very hard to come by. This is definitely one of those situations where the Supervisor will know the right song when he hears it, and plays it against the scene. You can submit Songs with full production or simple, stripped-down acoustic arrangements. Your vocal performance should be emotionally compelling, but not too over the top or sappy. TAXI TIP: Please stick to the lyric theme of drinkable water, water satisfying a thirst, etc.. Please avoid submitting songs just because they have the word “water” in them! Smoke on the Water, or Hands Across the Water won’t work for this film. Broadcast Quality is needed (great sounding home recordings are fine). The license fee for this pitch is $1,000 - $3,000 depending on the ultimate use. This is a Direct-to-Music Supervisor pitch, so you'll keep 100% of your Master and Publishing rights, plus you'll also get 100% of the sync fee and any applicable performance royalties. You must own or control 100% of the Master and Copyright to pitch for this opportunity. Please do NOT copy or rip off the referenced artists in any way, shape, or form. All songs will be screened on a Yes/No basis. No full critiques. Please submit 1-3 SONGS no later than TUESDAY, April 8, 2014 by 2pm (PDT). TAXI #U140408DW

[HectorRContreras]

Hello dear Steve,

A very interesting Listing, unusual, and for a Documentary about drinking fresh Water. It has to be a Song with Lyrics, and it has to "seduced" the Supervisor's ears !

Let us have a listen to "Pure Water"

Nice Website, dear Steve !

Woah, well done on the Lyrics ! I like the Guitar of course, it is Americana, it is cool. And it is totally Musically correct.

As a French person living in England, I would have thought of something completely different. Precisely, this is going to be personal, and never mind Catherine, your Job is to please the Supervisor, according to the words of the Listing.

Coming back to the Listing, your Song is not silly, not somber nor dark. It is simple.

Just wondering about this : "They need the perfect song to play during a montage of people receiving fresh drinking water in an environment where it’s typically very hard to come by."

For me, your Song is not likely to be chosen. Oh so sorry for this. And I wish with all my Heart that I am WRONG !

Feel free to come back to us, and tell us your victory, dear Steve, when you get a Forward. I shall genuinely rejoice with you on that day !

[singer1]

I, too had my submission returned as being too 'heavy - handed'. I had the notion that they might want something that spoke to the seriousness of this subject. Still have not seen anything forwarded; the music supervisor was the one screening so..... I would assume he knows what he wants.
BTW, my submission, should anyone care is entitled "Clean Water", and can be found on my Taxi homepage.
Not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that our Head-screener is new to us; again. Tom Stillwater has moved on.
Still waiting on what WAS forwarded... my bet is on a song - with female vocals, and some kinda folksy feel. That is usually the way they go, seeing what was returned so far. Since the screening was done by the supervisor, you would think that he had made that choice, and we would know, but..... D.B.M.

.... the only race we're in, is the human race.... D.B.M.

www.taxi.com/davidbradleymau
www.reverbnation.com/davidbradleymau
www.airplaydirect.com/davidbradleymau
www.davidbradleymau.com

[singer1]

The return had this as the reason: "While we are definitely looking for songs that speak directly to the issue, David, this one is a bit too heavy handed. It wouldn't work with the images it's intended to support."

And there you have it!( Curious as to the images that they are speaking to? D.B.M.


... the only race we're in, is the human race.... D.B.M.


www.taxi.com/davidbradleymau
www.reverbnation.com/davidbradleymau
www.airplaydirect.com/davidbradleymau
www.davidbradleymau.com

[uncbilly]

IMO, this is a great song that's about 1/2 written. I started responding to this post, but realized I was co-writing without permission Guess that means you got good song going here.
Simplified, Here's What I'd do:
-Love the displaced chords on the verse (you know, that cool overlap thing) but maybe dial them back a tiny bit
-I'd use the second verse as the first and make it past tense, extend the story through the tag (different words) and then crush the listener with the "pour me some heaven". Try it, The vers becomes a bit of a chorus then.
-The "pass some pure water to me line is great, but it's lost because theirs no setup. It needs the line previous to rhyme with me to set it up properly.
My Two cents.